Ask the akatsuki
by Dr.merrytime
Summary: SPOILERS!spoiler alert people. do not read if you don't want spoilers i warned you also i think it's pretty funny
1. Send in Questions!

**Ask the AKATSUKI!!!!**

Ask the akatsuki whatever you want I guess… I do not own any of the akatsuki!!!!

Umm all 10 members count, Itachi, Kisame, Deidara, Sasori (don't care if he's dead),

Tobi, Zetsu, Hidan, Kakuzu, Sir-leader, lady with the blue hair and white hair or I as I

like to call her Flower-chan!!!

please please ask questions Woot AKATSUKI RULZ!!!


	2. Questions! WOOP!

Ask the Akatsuki

WOOP this is gonna be fun thanx for all the questions

* * *

Dear Sasori 

Are you in love with Deidara? You are very protective when he is in danger.

-From Takasiku

Dear Takasiku

(Reads question) WHAT!!!??? (blushing as bad as hinata… hey can puppets even blush?) O-of course not!! H-H-how could you think something like that? I-it's sick that's what it is!! (looks around making sure Deidara isn't seeing this) A-and I'm only protective so he doesn't die and I don't have to look for a new partner!! (leaves room)

- sasori

(Me: hmmm I didn't know he was such a spazz do you think he was lying?)

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

This has been bugging me for a while. Would you still be immortal if Zetsu ate you? And have you ever been told that your "evil form" looks like a panda in skeleton pajamas?

-From Childofglass

Dear childofglass,

Hmmm I don't really know I don't really want to try it seriously… I guess I would be but I don't want to know how I would come out. My evil form looks like a WHAT?!?! (Goes into the form looks into mirror) DOES NOT!!! KAKUUUUZZZZZZUUU DO I LOOK LIKE A PANDA WEARING SKELETON PJ'S LIKE THIS?

-Hidan

* * *

Dear Itachi, 

Can I name my pet weasel after you?

-from childofglass

Dear childofglass

No.

-Itachi

* * *

Dear Leader, 

Why did you start the Akatsuki? I mean, how many people just wake up one morning and go "Hey! I think I'll gather a bunch of missing-nin, find demons, and take over the world!"?

-from childofglass

Dear childofglass,

I did not just wake up one day and say that it took many years of research and planning and also THE TAKING OVER THE WORLD PLAN KIX ASS!!!!!!

-Leader

* * *

Dear Kakuzu, 

How...-Checks pocket- Where's my wallet?

-From childofglass

Dear Childofglass

I DON'T KNOW!!! HOW SHOULD I KNOW!??… (inches toward door)

-kakuzu who is spending your money right at this moment

* * *

Dear Kisame, 

Have the other members ever tried to eat you?

-From childofglass

Dear Childofglass,

Other than Zetsu I don't think so though once we had a party and everbody got drunk and the next day I woke up and my fin was gone. (me: ohhhh that's where that thing went)

-Kisame

* * *

Dear Sasori, 

What's it like being dead? Also, how did you let your grandmother and Sakura kill you?! You were cool!

-From childofglass

Dear Childofglass,

WHAT I'M DEAD!!!??? (Reads manga) Damn well I guess it's okay it's kinda boring though with the whole not being able to pick anything up (me: why didn't he notice befoe) I don' know how I a S-RANKED CRIMINAL could be DEFEATED by a chunin(sp?) and my grandma I'm an s-ranked criminal for god's sake.

-Sasori

* * *

Dear Tobi, 

What inspired you to join the Akatsuki? How did you meet Zetsu?

-From childofglass

Dear childofglass

Tobi thinks the akatsuki is cool and Tobi wants to be popular

-Tobi's a good boy!

* * *

Dear Zetsu 

Would you eat vegetables?

-from childofglass

Dear childofglass

(normal fontwhite half **Bold black half) **Yeah umm that's called_ cannibalism_ **you stupid idiot who the hell would do that? **So I guess that be a no.

-Zet**su

* * *

**

Dear Blue-hair,

How does it feel to be the only girl in the Akatsuki?

-from childofglass

Dear Childofglass

Well it's definitely smelly and a little lonely but Itachi and Deidara have the best hair products so that makes up for it.

-Blue-hair

* * *

Dear kisame, 

What would you do if Sir Leader says you have to eat shark fin soup, sushi, and sashimi as a mission?

-From rising dreamer

Dear Rising dreamer,

I would suck it up and do it a shark does eat other fish right? With the shark fin soup though I'd probably throw up i mean i don't want to end up like Zetsu (Zetsu: you know technicly(sp?) i'm not human so it's not cannibilism). No offence to other fish people reading this.

-kisame

* * *

Dear everybody except Tobi, (tobi: awwwwww) 

I never understand how you people let Tobi join an S-rank, missing-nin organization.

-from rising dreamer

Dear rising dreamer

IT WAS ZETSU'S IDEA!!!! Deidara was pissed with it, sasori was dead, Itachi was neutral, Kisame thought it was kinda stupid, Hidan really wanted to sacrifice him, Kakuzu well he was counting money so I (leader) don't know, flower-chan was turned around, I thought I could trust Zetsu with this I thought he had some sort of power but he's just a kid!!!

-leader voicing every ones opinion except tobi (Tobi:awwwww)

* * *

Dear Sir-leader 

A lot of us wonder. Why purple nail polish? I mean, nail polish part of the uniform code is freaky to begin with, but I understood if it was black or red. But purple? Isn't that like Orochimaru's color. When he used to be in the organization, did he somehow convince you all to apply purple nail polish?

-from Rising dreamer

Dear Rising Dreamer

It was originally Orochimaru's idea for the nail polish and when we were about to kick the shit out of him for even suggesting it but then Itachi stepped in and said was a good idea so we kinda had too so we wouldn't have to be stuck with a pissed off mankekyo (sp?) using Uchiha.

-Sir-leader

* * *

Dear everyone, (I'm putting it in one letter cause they all have the same answer… well except for Tobi) 

ITACHI I ABSOLUTLEY ...HATE YOU -.-  
TOBI IS A GOOD BOY  
DEIDARA SASORI none of your ideas for art are very artistic I mean come on  
I HATE ALL OF YOU  
OH HIDAN I HATE YOU MOST OF ALL why you ask you killed Asuma I dont like him but you had to go and kill him his wife is pregnant PREGNANT and he didnt know  
Itachi do you really need to know why I hate you its kinda obious

-from KunoichiruleALL

Dear KunoichiruleAll

We hate you too you bitch (tobi: WOOP TOBI"S A GOOD BOY!!!! Deidara:Stfu) (Me: why did you even say that it's not a question?)

-Everybody

* * *

Dear Tobi, 

What's up with your face?

-from Wilddog14

Dear Wilddog14

It's a secret kukukukuku… (deidara: stop being a tard Tobi) Tobi's not a tard he's a goodboy!

-Tobi who is good… boy (deidara: tard)

* * *

Dear Sasori, 

Are the puppet master's all located in Suna?

-from Wilddog14

Dear Wilddog14

Hmmm the puppet mastery could be learned in other villages but Suna is the most known for it.

-Sasori

* * *

Author's note: So not bad for someone who doesn't read the manga huh? Well tell me what you think and what I can improve on and send more questions!!!!!! 


	3. Yay this one is long!

Ask the Akatsuki

Woot!!!! 2nd chapie!!! I wanted to have more questions but whatever I OWN NOTHING!!Also could someone tell me why people put me on their alert list… what the hell is it anyway?

* * *

Dearest kisame, 

Your sword looks like a chicken-feather duster! 50 bucks and a cookie for it?

-larrycucumber2

Dear Larrycucumber2,

Ummm no thanks.

-Kisame

* * *

Dear Itachi, 

I love you till no end, you kick ass! ALso you're totally more sexy then your brother Sasuke. How do you get your hair so nice and silky? Oh and if you've ever ran out of food on a mission, would you consider eating Kisame?

-xX.Akatsuki Black Rose.Xx

Dear xX.Akatsuki Black Rose.Xx,

Thanks I know. Herbal essence. And I have considered it but it'd be a waste according to Zetsu, Kisame has a terrible aftertaste and I'd also be out of a partner.

-Itachi

* * *

Dear Tobi, 

You say you're a good boy, but what really makes you one?

-xX.Akatsuki Black Rose.Xx

Dear xX.Akatsuki Black Rose.Xx

Weeelll… Tobi's a good boy he does what he's told and Zetsu said he was one and Zetsu is always right.

-Tobi's a good boy

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

Is sacraficing always on your mind?

--xX.Akatsuki Black Rose.Xx

Dear xX.Akatsuki Black Rose.Xx

FUCK YEAH!!!!!

-Hidan

* * *

Dear Kakuzu, 

Dude...you have issues with money. Oh and what do you like to do in your spare time? (I hope it isn't counting money --)

-xX.Akatsuki Black Rose.Xx

Dear xX.Akatsuki Black Rose.Xx,

That's one of them BUT I also like collecting money, stealing money and… sewing (you tell anyone I kill you)

-Kakuzu

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

How do you get your hair to stay over your eye, I'v tried it but nothing works!

-xX.Akatsuki Black Rose.Xx

Dear xX.Akatsuki Black Rose.Xx

You have to get your hair into the habit of it after showers put your bangs how you want them to be and after a couple times it should be in the habit (me: worked for me)

-Deidara

* * *

Dear Sasori, 

If I asked you really nicely would you make me a puppet I could call my own?

-xX.Akatsuki Black Rose.Xx

Dear xX.Akatsuki Black Rose.Xx

Well it depends do you want a human for your puppet? If so I could do it if not it might be a little harder because of the design but if you have a human you would like for a puppet I could do it easily just tell me who

-Sasori

* * *

Dear Kisame, 

Who was the shark in your family? Your mother or father?

- xX.akatsuki black rose.Xx

Dear xX.Akatsuki Black Rose.Xx

Mother. Please DO NOT ASK what the hell my father was thinking.

-Kisame

* * *

Dear Zetsu, 

Why are you a venus fly-trap? Where you born that way?

- xX.akatsuki black rose.Xx

Dear xX.akatsuki black rose.Xx,

(normal-white half bold-black half) Yes I was **if you say one word about it consider yourself eaten** he's just grumpy **stfu**

-Ze**tsu

* * *

**

Dear Flower-chan, 

I think you're awesome for being the only girl in the Akatsuki! How do you deal with the boys when they make you mad?

-xX.akastuki black rose.Xx

Dear xX.akatsuki black rose.Xx

Thanks and usually I whack them in the head when they're being morons if they don't stop… well then I whack harder (usually that stops them I hit hard)

-Flower-chan

* * *

Dear leader-sama 

I love how mysterious you are, but I like Itachi better sorry! Anyways would you feel honered if I did a costume design based off the Akatsuki cloak?

-xX.Akatsuki Black Rose.Xx

Dear xX.Akatsuki Black Rose.Xx,

My Myteriousness is AWESOMENESS. And Itachi is cool bUT I BEAT ALLLLL!!!!!! And YOU should feel honoured doing a costume based on the akastuki cloak.

-Sir-leader

* * *

Dear Sasori, 

Seriously how is like being dead it doesnt help knowing your grandma killed you does it?

-KunoichiruleALL

Dear KunoichiruleALL,

It's incredibly boring and having my grandma kill me definitely did not help.

-Sasori

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

hm imortal huh so does that mean you will be alive in the end of the world oh and youre dead too (sorry) how an imortal can die I will never know

-KunoichiruleALL

Dear kunoichiruleALL,

I'm not _dead_ I'm as leader likes to put it _neutralized_ buried under lots of rocks what fun

-Hidan

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

I like clay how old are you anyway?

-kunoichiruleALL

Dear kunoichiruleALL,

Who doesn't like clay (other than Sasori-danna) I'm about 20.

-Deidara

* * *

Dear Leader, 

Are you the fourth hokage?

-kunoichiruleALL

Dear kunoichiruleALL,

OMFG your like the 60000000000 person to ask it's getting annoying AND it's a secret that I'll never tell… well I'll never tell until I show up in the manga.

-Leader

* * *

Dear Itachi, 

uhh hm does it hurt using mangekyou? cause it looks like it does

-kunoichiruleALL

Dear kunoichiruleALL,

It's only a strain on the eyes and it kinda gives me a headache but the rest of me is ok.

-Itachi

* * *

Dear Tobi, 

STILL A GOOD BOY (sorry guys its just fun doing that)

-KunoichiruleALL

Dear kunoichiruleALL

WOOT!!! Tobi's a good boy still!!! (does dance)

-Tobi who is still doing dance

* * *

Dear Zetsu, 

eat any good humans lately cause if your interested there is this annoying boy at my school who goes by the name of chris

-KunoichiruleALL

Dear kunoichiruleALL,

Why thank you we have had some good human flesh lately **just tell me where the boy lives and we're there.**

**-Ze**tsu

* * *

Dear Unknown girl, 

WHO ARE YOU?

-kunoichiruleAll

Dear kunoichiruleALL,

The real question is WHO ARE YOU?

-Unknown girl

* * *

Dear everyone, 

whats the first thing that comes to mind when I say oh I dont know "WEASEL!"

-kunoichiruleALL

Dear kunoichiruleALL,

Zetsu: food, Itachi: Here we go again… -- everybody else: ITACHHIIIIIIIII!!!!!!

-everybody

* * *

Dear Itachi, 

Why did u kill your family i mean it pretty cool that u did but why?

-kikki1546

Dear kikki1546

I did it because of the fangirls oh and not to mention the fanboys (shudder) I THOUGHT THAT KILLING MY ENTIRE CLAN WOULD END IT BUT IT JUST EVERYTHING WORSE. And I only kept my brother alive because it's mess with him.

-Itachi

* * *

Dear Kisame, 

how does your sword eat charka?

-Kikki1546

Dear Kikki1546,

I dunno.

-Kisame

* * *

Dear Zetsu, 

I know u ate 40 carrots one time anyway did u ever try to eat anyone in the akatsuki?

-Kikki1546

Dear Kikki1546,

Shhhhh don't tell anyone. Oh and who haven't I tried to eat** other than that fag Itachi that bastard with the mangekyou eyes.**

**-Ze**tsu

* * *

Dear Tobi, 

are u obito?

-Kikki1546

Dear Kikki1546

What does this Obito person look like cause if he where's an orange swirly mask than probably.

-Tobi the good boy

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

can u kill my sister? (she tried to rape sasori)

-kikki1546

Dear Kikki1546

Ew and where does she live?

-Deidara

* * *

Dear Sasori, 

are u dating sakura?

-Kikki1546

Dear kikki1546

She killed me so why would I plus WTF!?!? THAT BITCH? HELL NO!!!! (me: I like Sakura but that is a stupid pairing)

-Sasori

* * *

Dear Kakuzu 

GET HELP! u got money problems anyway why did u join in the first place?

-kikki1546

Dear kikki1546,

No. I joined because I wanted to and I thought they were rich.

-kakuzu

* * *

Dear leader, 

are u the fourth hokage?

-kikki1546

Dear Kikki1546,

60000000001 (read the question earlier)

-leader

* * *

Dear blue flower lady, 

can other girls join the akatsuki?

-kikki1546

Dear kikki1546

Sure if you have enough power.

-blue flower lady

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

Do you and Sasori have other arguments other than about art? I mean about girls,how to kick Tobi out, That kind of thing.

-evilsis

Dear evilsis,

Yeah pretty much the one we have most often other than art is that Tobi one especially after he died I wonder why?

-Deidara

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

Has any guy ever mistaken you for a girl and done something um...weird to you?

-Skyve

Dear Skyve,

Uhhh yeah actually Sasori and I were at a weird club almost everybody was drunk and some guy came up to me and… well I think he tried to molest me but then I blew his face up it made a wonderful work of art. Sasori was really pissed at me later for some reason. (me: sorry I can't help doing this to Sasori)

-Deidara

* * *

Dear Itachi-Sama, 

Did you know your little brother is with that freaky snake traitor?  
Hoping you won't kill the messager,

-Voltra the lively (me: I did your full name so people know it's you)

Dear Voltra,

Freaky snake traitor? Ohhhhh you mean Orochimaru. Wait eww how could he do that he's made himself as bad as me you know abandoning his village trying to kill his best friend wow what an idiot. (me: sasuke fans do not kill me sasuke is cool but seriously that is stupid)

-Itachi

* * *

Dear Kisame-sama, 

Has anyone ever hummed the 'Jaws' theme around you?  
Who thinks sharks are awesome,

-Voltra the lively

Dear Voltra,

Yep Tobi, Deidara and Hidan course I started whacking them in the head (very hard) and they eventually stopped.

Who also thinks sharks are awesome,

-kisame

* * *

Dear Hidan- sama, 

What do you do with all the blood after the rituals? And if you can find a use, could you send it to me?  
Nyaa... I got nothin' for this ending.

-Voltra the lively

Dear Voltra the lively,

I don't really do anything with it I bleed for jashin and that's pretty much it… well if it's in the lair I have to clean it up. Awww no ending for me. ;;

-Hidan

* * *

Dear Deidara ans Sasori, 

Are you guys effing insane?! Are does NOT go out with a bang, and it does not last forever. It's just kinda there. Eventually it will fade quietly, and unoticed. Oh yeah, now i'm gonna ask a real question...what are your favorite songs?

-evilknife

Dear evilknife,

Screw your version of art because it sux. Sasori's favourite song is puppet thousand foot krutch, Deidara's here comes the boom by P.O.D.

-Sasori and Deidara

* * *

Dear Itachi, 

-thesilentone29

Dear thesilentone29,

That's just great. Stay away from me.

-Itachi

* * *

Dear Kisame, 

Is your mom a fish. Because my hidden sources tell me that your moms a goldfish?

p.s tobi IS a good boy

p.p.s deidara i thinks ur hair is very pretty

-xAyamexchanx

Dear xAyamexchanx,

Ummmm no my mom was a shark. Tobi and deidara says thanx too.

-kisame

* * *

Dear Kakuzu. 

Would you kiss hidan on the lips if I gave you a million dollars?  
Just wondering...

p.s YES I HAVE A MILLION DOLLARS!

-xAyamexchanx

Dear xAyamexchanx

WTF!?!? Ummmmmmmmm well yeah probably I mean a million dollars. kissing a dude is a small price to pay (pun not intended) for a million dollars (Hidan comes in) aw fuck (Hidan reads question and answer) KAKUZU WTF!?!?!?!

-kakuzu who at the moment is being attacked by a religious coot (yay Hidan)

* * *

Dear Everybody, 

I am A Big Fan Girl of you and even have a picture of you all in my room! Anyway i want to know what a normal day for all of you is like? I Love you all You rock i love you more then teh main characters :) Thnak you and tobi is a weird boy -.-'

-AkatsukiDreamer

Dear Akatsuki Dreamer,

Thanx Hmmmm let me (leader) think usually everyone is woken up by hidan and kakuzu fighting, Sasori and deidara fighting or deidara and Sasori _and_ Tobi fighting. Breakfast is a free for all whoever doesn't eat tough break. When ther's no missions we just sit around watching tv, sometimes we'll play poker or Tobi will streak or do something stupid like that. Explosions and yelling are some common things coming deidara Tobi and Sasori's room (partners share for you sick minded people) Yelling is all you hear from hidan and kakuzu's room. Water is for some reason heard from Itachi and Kisame's room. Nothin from Zetsu's and I don't know where flower-chan's room is. Also Itachi and Deidara ALWAYS TAKE THE HOT WATER IN THE MORNING!! Then yeah we go to sleep.

-everybody

* * *

Dear All Akatsuki's peoples, 

What are your ages? it doesn't say in the wikipedia pages,(wll, exept kisame and itachi) and I am curious. Deal.

-aliveinchrist13

Dear aliveinchrist13

Deidara: about 20, Sasori: in 40's (he stopped counting), Hidan: 257 (he's immortal)

Kakuzu: around the same age as Hidan maybe older, Tobi: 19, leader:50's, Flower-chan: unknown Zetsu: 38, kisame and itachi's on wikipedia

-everyone

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

You're a great artist. explosions are fun. why do you say "yeah(or un in japanese)" after most of your sentances?

-aliveinchrist13

Dear aliveinchrist13,

I know I am. I say un because well I don' really know it's been a habit of mine ever since I was little I can't help it other than when I'm typing

-Deidara

* * *

Dear Tobi, 

You're cool.

-aliveinchrist13

Dear aliveinchrist13,

Yay!!!!! Tobi'a a cool boy!!!!

-Tobi the cool boy

* * *

Dear Itachi, 

why do you have wrinkles under you eyes? (prepares to die)

-aliveinchrist13

Dear aliveinchrist13,

I have wrinkles under my eyes from STRESS (tries to use mangekyou then broke his computer)

-Itachi

* * *

Dear Kisame, 

FISH FACE!! (prepares to die again)

-aliveinchrist13

Dear aliveinchrist13,

(sniff) Why are humans so cruel? YOU'RE A JERK!!!!! (cries)

-Kisame

* * *

Dear leader, 

Who picked out the red and black robes with the clouds on them? They are kind of cool though.

-wilddog14

Dear wilddog14,

I know they're cool. I designed them so why wouldn't they be?

-Leader

* * *

Dear Sasori, 

do you know how Kankuro became a puppet master?

-wilddog14

Dear wilddog14

Yeah I did fight him after all and he was using my puppets.

-sasori

* * *

Dear tobi, 

why do you want to be in Akatsuki? Please don't say it's because you want to be popular, that's like Gai saying because it is youthful.

-wilddog14

Dear Wildog14,

Tobi found Sasori's ring and Zetsu said he was a good boy.

-Tobi the good boy

* * *

Dear Kisame, 

What happened to the other five members of the mist villages seven ninja? (There may have been a name for them, it was the group Zabuza was in as well.) Kisame, also did you ever know Zabuza?

-wilddog14

Dear Wilddog14,

The members are still there I just left. I knew Zabuza was a weirdo who wore cowprint we didn't talk much.

-kisame

* * *

Author's note: HOLY SHIT THAT TOOK FOREVER!!!! I'm sorry if some of the info is not accurate and to send in more reviews!!! 


	4. i thought i'd be dead by 2

Ask the akastuki

Ohhhhhh that's what it is thank you very much xX.Akatsuki black rose.Xx know I know alerts are good I'm such a newbie now let's get this going

* * *

Dear everybody, 

How is life before you joined Akatsuki for you? I would really wants to know :D U GUYS ROCK!

-akatsukidreamer

Dear akatsuki dreamer,

Itachi: you should already know how my life was you know being better than everybody, prodigy, ect

Kisame: My life sucked I was always being made fun of and nobody was my friend… but know I have Itachi!!! o

Deidara: well let's say my "art" wasn't exactly loved in my village, though I did have a fanclub though there were some stupid guys in it that thought I was a girl (shudder)

Sasori: My life was little lonely witout my parents but I did have my grandma though she did kill me ee

Tobi: i don't remember…

Kakuzu: hmmmm not as much money though I was richest in the waterfall I stitched people up who needed it… if they had some money

Hidan: not nearly as many sacrifices… well not really well it was less annoying fuckin kakuzu I MEAN WHAT WAS WITH THAT QUESTION!!!!! (see chap 2)!!!! seriously I'm never gonna let that go that bastard

Flower-chan: flowery

Sir-leader: There was a life before the akatsuki!?!

-everybody

* * *

Dear Itachi, 

If Kisame somehow died...(of course I didn't kill him!)would you consider letting me be your partner? Also would you marry me? Just asking...

-xX.akatsuki black rose.Xx (me: is it ok if they call you akastuki black rose cause the x's bug them really sorry if you don't like it seriously)

Dear black rose,

(reads half the question) Well it depends do you have enough power and can you NOT get yourself kil… (reads the rest of question) NO!!!

-Itachi

* * *

Dear Zetsu, 

Your black side has issues, also he couldn't eat me if he tried! I would probably kick his ass. Okay question, question...umm has your black side said something so disturbing it gave you nightmares?

-Akastuki black rose

Dear akatsuki black rose,

**So you wanna fight excellent I'll find your home and break into your house whenever we have the chance I hope your family tastes good. **Sorry about him and yes he has he showed me fan-fiction… with me… and basically every other on the sho- world… for some reason it didn't seem to bug him.

-Ze**tsu

* * *

**

Dear Sasori, 

About the puppet thing, there is this one person you could use. He's a pain in the ass so yeah! Can I make a plushie out of you?

-akastuki black rose

Dear akatsuki black rose,

K for 1st question tell me his name and where he lives and I'd be happy to for 2nd question HELL NO!!!!

-Sasori

* * *

Dear leader-sama, 

YOU DO NOT BEAT ALL -whack!- Itachi pwns you and everyone else in the Akatsuki so take that (Sorry other peoples!)Also your rude...question time! Would you let me join the akatsuki?

-akatsuki black rose

Dear akatsuki black rose,

Well after YOU SLAPPED and CALLED ME RUDE I don't think so

-sir-leader

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

How would you feel if I gave you a hug?

-akatsuki black rose

Dear akatsuki black rose,

Uhhhh awkward? Oh if you're an assassin I'll blow your face up same thing if you're a fangirl (I've memorized all your faces)

-deidara

* * *

Dear Kisame, 

A friend of mine has issues with swords...how would you feel if she stole yours?

-akatsuki black rose

Dear akatsuki black rose,

Angry than sad then angry again than sad again then I'd go eat a bucket of icecream but seriously if she stole it I'll kill you then her.

-kisame

* * *

Dear kakuzu, 

-whacks- God you need help with your money problem. Also since you sew...would you please sew the head of my teddy bear back on? My cat killed it...

-akatsuki black rose

Dear akatsuki black rose,

YOU JUST WHACKED ME IN THE HEAD!!! So no… (you send him puppy eyes over the computer) ughhh fine send me the bear.

-kakuzu

* * *

Dear Tobi, 

...your not a good boy...just kidding! You're annoying but eh. What's your favorite animal?

-akatsuki black rose

Dear akatsuki black rose,

YAY!!!! Tobi's an annoying boy!!! My favourite animal is a pumkin w

-tobi the good boy

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

I KNEW IT! MY FRIEND OWNS ME TWENTY BUCKS!! Anyways now that I'm done with my ranting...can I borrow you scythe for awhile?

-akatsuki black rose

Dear akatsuki black rose,

Whhhhyyyy?

-Hidan

* * *

Dear flower-chan, 

Ah I thought so, I would do the same thing. -Pats on back- Good for you! Anyway how did you end up in the Akatsuki?

-akatsuki black rose

Dear akatsuki black rose,

I have absolutely no idea… because I was bored?

-Flower-chan

* * *

Dear everybody, 

What is your favorite movie? Random, yes.

Who loves Rent,

-voltra

Dear voltra,

Itachi: chain saw massacre, Kisame: jaws, Zetsu: doesn't watch movies Deidara: dhantom of the opera, Sasori: finds movies pointless, Hidan: movies are against his religion Kakuzu: too expensive, Leader: same as sasori, flower-chan: same as zetsu

-Everybody

* * *

Dear Kisame, 

do you agree with me when I say Raiga is a wierd bimbo who is obsessed with funerals  
Oh has anyone eaten shark fin soup around you,Suigetsu is gonna steal your sword

-kunoichiruleALL

Dear KunoichiruleALL,

Yeah he was pretty weird him with his funerals… and talking hump. Deidara did eat that cursed soup around me course he samehada and I had a chat about that so everything is clear about that. Who's gonna steal my sword? well whatever he can kiss my ass cause he ain't getting this sword.

-kisame

* * *

Dear Itachi, 

what would you do if I told you your brother and his wierdo new team was hunting you down to ultimatly kill you and sing pop goes the weasel in a really crappy voice,oh naruto and sakura are hunting you down to...wow alot of people out to get you

-kunoichiruleALL

Dear KunoichiruleALL,

Well I guess that be kinda weird and I now everybody is after me but it's only cause I'm so damn awesome.

-itachi

* * *

Dear kakuzu, 

Ill give you 2million bucks if you strip down to your underwear and run around Konoha screaming the green alien monkeys are out to get me

-kunoichiruleALL

Dear kunoichiruleALL,

Why does everyone keep bribing me? Aw what the hell (goes to do it) (Hidan looks out window) Okay SERIOUSLY KAKUZU you're starting to scare me you have to deal with this money problem.

-kakuzu who is at counselling by order of Sir-Leader

* * *

Dear Leader, 

I heard your first choice for uniform was exactly like team rockets except with a huge A

-kunoichiruleALL

Dear kunoichiruleALL,

Stupid fun with the akatsuki spreading rumours like that I mean what the hell. GOSH

-Leader

* * *

Dear Tobi, 

Your a good, cool, funny boy

-kunoichiruleAll

Dear kunoichiruleALL,

YAY!!!!!

-Tobi

* * *

Dear everybody, 

DO THE SHIKA SHAKE (sorry Hidan) I mean it do the shika shake now PLEASE

-kunoichiruleALL

Dear kunoichiruleALL,

… Tobi: YAY!!!! (nobody moves but him) Tobi: awwww

-everybody

* * *

Dear Kisame, 

Do you ever like to hide underwater and scare people for the fun of it? (p.s. Sharks are awesome!)

-atlantianddragoness

Dear atlantianddragoness,

Yeah whenever we go on a vacation or itachi and I have time after a mission we go to the beach (or pool) man IT'S SO MUCH FUN!!!

-Kisame

* * *

Dear (it mentions in question), 

is there any way i can get to see itachi, deidara and hidan naked?  
i ask this to their respective partners (kisame, tobi or sasori and kakuzu)  
u can see from my name that i'm pretty pervy so...gimmay!

-moogle in paradaisu

Dear moogle in paradaisu,

Kisame: now how the hell could I do that?

Sasori: (blu- whatever puppets do when embarrassed) NO!! WHY WOULD I HAVE PICTURES OF THAT!?!?! (me: she never mentioned pictures Sasori: SHUT UP!!! Me: it's addictive doing this to him)

Tobi: um no sorry I guess

Kakuzu: ew

-kisame, sasori, tobi, kakuzu

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

Please make me you student! p.s Art is a bang

-kage twitch

Dear kage twitch,

Sorry we're not allowed to take students in the akatsuki

-deidara who also thinks art is a bang

* * *

Dear Itachi, 

... I worship you...

-datenshi25

Dear datenshi25,

STAY AWAY!

-itachi

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

you are a asshole, which is why I think you are cool.

-datenshi25

Dear datenshi25,

Who doesn't (other than kakuzu)

-Hidan

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

I blew my arm off trying explosive clay, how do you do it?

-Datenshi25

Dear Datenshi25,

I have special mouths on my hands for that you don't so unless mouths somehow appear on your hands your outta luck sorry

-Deidara

* * *

Dear Sasori, 

You are not dead, I refuse to belive it. I reject your reality and substitute my own

-Datenshi25

Dear datenshi25,

If only it worked like that.

-Sasori

* * *

Dear kakuzu, 

My friend wants to rape you, don't shoot the messenger

-Datenshi25

Dear datenshi25,

Ew. Wait is she rich?

-Kakuzu

* * *

Dear Kisame, 

I am a proud kisame fan girl... GO FISH w

-Datenshi25

Dear Datenshi25,

WOOO YOSH!!! GO FISH (fish are so much better than weasels)

-kisame

* * *

Dear Zetsu, 

You are a cannibal homicidal scitzofranic mainic... YOU ARE SO COOL

-datenshi25

Dear Datenshi25,

I'm a homicidal scitzo… what? Oh thanx (ZZ)

-zetsu (me: only the good one? zetsu: yep me: weird)

* * *

Dear leader, 

I would join akatsuki if I could... Since you guys kick ass

-Datenshi25

Dear Datenshi25,

Who doesn't want to join honestly?

-Leader

* * *

Dear Tobi, 

OMG tobi is a GOOD boy

-Datenshi25

Dear datenshi25,

Tee hee everyone tells tobi that Tobi is so happy!!

-Tobi the extra good boy

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

Is it true you keep dead people in your closet? P.S: I bow to thee, almighty scythe-wielding ruler of the panda-in-skeleton-pajamas people!

-childofglass

Dear childofglass,

Umm no because if I did zetsu would always be in there. Finally someone notices my awesomeness jeez. Wait there are more panda-in-skel… Those people?

-Hidan

* * *

Dear Itachi, 

We all know you're going blind. What would happen if someone flashed something really bright in your face?

-childofglass

Dear childofglass,

No you don't. and it's already happened hasn't it TOBI AND DEIDARA? (tobi and deidara start laughing) I fell backwards and conveniently there was A STAIRCASE!! (tobi and deidara are now on the floor laughing Deidara: good times, good times)

-Itachi who is now trying to mangekyou deidara and tobi but leader stops him

* * *

Dear leader, 

Are you dating Flower-chan?

-childofglass

Dear childofglass,

No?

-leader

* * *

Dear kakuzu, 

What happened to your eyes? Also, why would you choose to sell things to a black market hidden in a bathroom?  
P.S. Give me $1,0,0,0 and I might reconsider my decision regarding the auctioning of these photos of you and Hidan at that last Christmas party on E-bay. (Insert evil laugh)

-childofglass

Dear childofglass,

I was born that way. For the money duh. For the P.S. K first of all we were all very very drunk and there was mistletoe sooo yeah. Second ummm money or terrible embarrassment and years of bitching from Hidan? Really tough call (hidan comes in) Hidan: WTF GIVE HER THE FUCKING MONEY IDIOT!!! Kakuzu: but my money is like my soul Hidan: fine I'm sending the money I have no soul (hidan leaves). Oh and third how did you get those pictures?

-kakuzu

* * *

Dear Kisame, 

Can I eat you?

-childofglass

Dear childofglass,

What do you think? If you think yes HELL NO!!!!

-kisame

* * *

Dear Sasori, 

I have a late birthday present for you! Phoenix Down!

-childofglass

Dear childofglass,

Umm thank you?

-Sasori

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

Do you know you've been paired up with every member of the Akatsuki… and Tobi? Who do you like the best?

-childofglass

Dear childofglass,

Paired up? TO THE INTERNET!! (Checking what it is) OMFG!!!! WHO DO I LIKE THE BEST? IT'S NOT LIKE ANY OF THIS HAPPENED!! (me: cough-otherthanwithsasori-cough) (me: I don't actually strongly believe this pairing it's just fun)

-Deidara

* * *

Dear Tobi, 

Do you..have any powers? Or jutsus? Or...anything?

-childofglass

Jutsu? Oh of course but they're secret kukukuku…

-Tobi

* * *

Dear Zetsu, 

Is that flytrap removable? Do you have any fangirls?  
Can I poke you? Um, don't kill me for that last one! You can eat my stepsister though!

-childofglass

Dear child**ofglass,**

No the flytrap is not removable** it's attached to my skin idiot.** I don't know if I have fangirls I might have a few. **You poke me I'll eat you AND you're step sister alive.**

**-Ze**tsu

* * *

Dear flower-chan 

Do you even have a face?

-childofglass

Dear childofglass,

Yes

-flower-chan

* * *

Dear all the akatsuki, 

Worship Hidan! Now! Also, I command Leader to perform an interpretive dance to honor Hidan. After all, he rules the pandas! Otherwise, do you REALLY want a panda invasion on your hands?

-childofglass

Dear childofglass,

NO!! And stop saying he rules the pandas you're giving him weird ideas... stop dancing tobi

-leader voicing everyone's opinions

* * *

Dear All akatsuki, 

What would YOU do for a Klondike Bar?

-thexmortalxangel

Dear thexmortalxangel,

Everyone: Klondike bar?

-everyone

* * *

Dear kakuzu, 

Will you do something really, really embarassing if I promise to give you all the money I have? (Use your imagination, I'm to lazy to bother using mine)

-thexmortalxangel

Dearthexmortalxangel,

Why does everyone keep bribing me? Also it depends how much money you have. (me: pretend it's like 1000 dollars) ok ummm something embarrassing I'll need beer (after getting quite drunk) ohhhhh hhhiiidddaaannn! hidan: kakuzu? omg (who is jashin) GET THE FUCK AWAY!!! (use your imagination on what happened next insert pervert smile ) (me: I don't actually believe any akatsuki pairings it's just fun to write about)

-kakuzu who is currently getting a thorough beating from a scarred for eternity priest

* * *

Dear all the akatsuki, 

when Deidara joined the akastuki did you think he was a girl? and sasori how did u react when you found out about his eye? OH and all of the people who think that deidara is a girl...NO! HE IS NOT A GIRL...

-WeIrD-fRoG

Dear WeIrD-fRoG,

Everyone: yep. Deidara: fuck you all. Sasori: well I got the chills and I never get the chills. Everyone: yes we all know deidara's a guy now (note the word now)

-everyone

* * *

Dear Leader I guess…, 

who cooks?  
favorite colors?  
Deidara...has anyone succeeded in raping you and wat do you think sasori would do if he found out?

-WeIrD-fRoG

Dear WeIrD-fRoG,

We take turns other than zetsu… and Tobi

Itachi: red, Kisame: blue, Zetsu: green, Deidara: orange, red and yellow occasionally white, Sasori: copper (me: ooh special) Flower-chan: blue screw you Kisame, Leader: black Tobi: orange, Hidan: white, kakuzu: green

Deidara: no one has succeeded in raping me but Tobi has tried… many times and the next day he's always covered in wounds… that weren't from me.

-everyone

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

Are you related to Ino? The reason im asking is that you have the same hair, your both ditzy, starving yourselfs and both have feminine features.

-xayamexchanx

Dear xayamexchanx / bitch-face (me: This girl is my best-friend)

Fuck you and my fangirls are coming to get you

-deidara

* * *

Dear Sir-leader, 

What in God's name ever made you let Tobi join in the Akatsuki?!?! I know he's totally awesome and a good boy, but other than that he's pretty much useless...

-xayamexchanx

Dear xayamexchanx,

I've answered that question previously.

-Sir-leader

* * *

Dear Itachi, 

I have one word to say... WEASEL!

-xayamexchanx

Dear xayamexchanx,

And I have 2 words for you FUCK OFF

-itachi

* * *

Dear Kisame, 

How do you breathe? You have gills under your eyes, yet you walk on water. Is that one of your jutsu's, magical fish abilities?

P.S IM BLUE DABADI DABADIE!

-xayamexchanx

Dear xayamexchanx,

I have lungs and gills. NEJI YOU!!!! (neji means screw)

-kisame

* * *

Dear Kakuzu, 

Ew.

-xayamexchanx

Dear xayamexchanx,

Hey I'm a bishie or whatever they're called with out the hat and stuff AND some random girl wants to rape me so nyah.

-kakuzu who's sending his fangirls

* * *

Dear Sasori, 

How do you pick things up with those stubby hands of yours? I mean ... how do you type responses to your... AHH YOUR CONFUZIN ME!

-xayamexchanx

Dear xayamexchanx

Are you talking about hiruko? I don't where him all the time you tard (me: you know she thought youn were a worm when she first saw you) YOU WHAT!?!?

-Sasori who's also sending his fangirls

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

What do you think about killing Asuma while the love of his life was pregnant? Are you guilty? Do you intend to play a role in this child's life to make up for what you did?

-evie-chan589

Dear evie-chan589,

A ritual is a ritual I'm sorry but that's how it is. And I kinda can't play a role in the kid's life cause I'm buried under a ton a rocks.

-hidan

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

How could you do that to poor little Gaara-Kun?

-Evie

Dear Evie,

It was my mission.

-deidara

* * *

OMFG I"M FINISHED THANK JASHIN!!! thanx for the reviews keep sending them in i do not own any of the akatsuki or they would have taken over the world by now 


	5. i didn't include all Q's sorry

Ask the Akatsuki

5th CHAPPIE WOOOT!!! (dances to numa numa remix) yeah thanx 4 the reviews u rox!!

And to those that complemented deidara or hidan u ROX EVEN MORE (but you all rox seriously) sorry it took so long but damn that's a lot of questions

* * *

Dear Tobi, 

Are you secretly Obito Uchiha?!?

-aliveinchrist13

Dear aliveinchrist13,

Does he where an orange mask?

-Tobi the good boy

* * *

Dear hidan, 

my question for you how the bleep are you typing under rocks hm

-kunoichiruleALL

Dear kunoichiruleALL,

Because my god is THAT powerful and the fact that I'm so fuckin awesome helps too

-Hidan

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

Im guilty I thought you were a girl too my bad, anywho I love art Im even taking ceramics  
art is indeed a bang,

girl who is pondering how to make clay explode without hand mouths yeah un hmph

-kunoichiruleALL

Dear KunoichiruleALL,

(sigh) I'm used to it and good art is an excellent thing to take up.

-Deidara

* * *

Dear Itachi, 

sasuke told me to send you this dont kill me kill him plays pop goes the weasel in a really crappy high annoying voice,at end then plays in a really eerie voice Im comin to get ya.  
your brother is wierd Itachi

-kunoichiruleALL

Dear kunoichiruleALL,

Yeah well I'm kinda to blame for makin my brother a weirdo you know with killing the clan, torturing him etc

-Itachi

* * *

Dear Kisame, 

how r u doing... SUSHI ...CHOUJI GET OUT OF HERE! BUT THE SUSHI! AW SHUT UP

-kunoichiruleALL

Dear kunoichiruleALL,

I'm fine as long as you keep that Chougi kid away. Seriously if i loose another body part (fin already lost) i'll be in trouble.

-kisame

* * *

Dear leader, 

Are you narutos brother oh and is Sakura joining I mean Im tired of the rumors just clear it up oh if she does join just know SHE IS A CLOSE FRIEND OF NARUTO good use for you huh

-kunoichiruleALL

Dear kunoichiruleALL,

Course not cause if I was I'd be shorter or naruto would have to be like 40 or however old I am (stopped counting) and sakura the chick who killed sasori? hell no 1 why would I let her join and 2 why the hell would she want to join.

-Leader

* * *

Dear Zetsu, 

What's it like having a split personality?

-atlantiandragoness

Dear atlantiandragoness,

Terr**ible**

-Ze**tsu

* * *

**

Dear everyone, 

What did you do to become missing-nin? (Itachi doesn't have to reply unless he feels like it)

-atlantiandrangoness

Dear atlantiandragoness,

Kisame: I assassinated my village's feudal lords

Sasori: I killed the Kazekage of the sand and turned him into a puppet

Deidara: I Blew up about half of my village

Zetsu: I ate the kazekage and his best ninja

Tobi: I found Sasori's ring!!

Hidan: I killed my village's head council.

Kakuzu: I killed many many people in rage.

Flower-chan: would rather not say.

Sir-leader: same as flower-chan

-everybody

* * *

Dear everybody, 

Who's the weirdest person outside of Akatsuki you've seen the fangirls pair you guys up with?

-atlantiandragon

Dear atlantiandragon,

Itachi: ino or iruka

Kisame: moegi

Deidara: Sasuke or hinata

Sasori: Shikamaru

Zetsu: jiroubou (sound of 4 remember?)

Hidan: shikamaru

Kakuzu: Naruto

Tobi: Hinata

Leader: Tenten?

Flower-chan: Kakashi?

-everybody

* * *

Dear itachi, 

what is the thing you find most annoying in the entire world?

-skyve

Dear skyve,

YOUR MOM!!! Nah actually Sasuke or kisame jumping out at me trying to scare me (never works), or hidan when he… no hidan's annoying all the time, or Tobi when he's… well he's annoying all the time too… freakin noobs… deidara and sasori also bug the hell outta me in their art rants and arguments, kakuzu can also be… You know what why don't I just say everything to me is the most annoying thing in the world. Oh and when people call me weasel.

-itachi

* * *

Dear Kisame, 

I was wondering if you can breathe under water...if not then let me know. (evil smile)

-skyve

Dear skyve,

Course I can! Why else would I have these gills? Cause they look cool? NO! I have them so I can breathe under water! DUH!!!

-kisame

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

How did you become immortal?

-Skyve

Dear Skyve,

Being faithful to Jashin can really do a lot for you.

-Hidan

* * *

Dear kakuzu, 

What is your problem, your obsessiveness is going to get you killed one day...

-Skyve

Dear Skyve,

You're a little late I'm already dead idiot AND IT WASN'T MONEY THAT DID EITHER!!!! So nyah

-kakuzu

* * *

Dear Itachi-kun, 

Jeezes I was just asking! Even though you yelled at me I still love you! (I swear to god I'm not going to like stalk you!) Also of course I have enough power, and I won't get myself killed! Question time! Does it annoy you when people call you weasel?

-akatsuki black rose

Dear akatsuki black rose,

YES IT'S TERRIBLY ANNOYING!!!! Also you're not going to stalk me? Really? Vause if your lying I'm gonna mangekyou your ass.

-itachi

* * *

Dear kisame-san, 

Why the heck would you kill me! I didn't do anything! Also since you brought it up, what's your favortie icecream?

-akatsuki black rose

Dear akatsuki black rose,

Cause that's what guys do! They kill people… ummmm my favourite ice cream would have to be sardine… yeah that or chocolate.

-kisame

* * *

Dear Deidara-san, 

Yay for awkwardness! Also can I give the mouths on your hands a cookie?

-akatsuki black rose

Dear akatsuki black rose,

Yeah… awkwardness. Umm sure?

-deidara

* * *

Dear Sasori-Danna, 

I want Uchiha Sasuke for my puppet! One cause that would be awesome, two I could brag about it. Question...have you ever read a M-rated fanfic with you and Deidara-san? Sorry have to ask!

-akatsuki black rose

Dear akatsuki black rose,

Uchiha Sasuke huh? Hmmm that might be difficult since he has his own little gang now (me: yay suigetsu!!) and Itachi might not approve… and I'm dead but I'll see what I can do. Oh and for the second question M-rated? I don't think I should trust you but I might as well… OH MY GAWD WHAT THE FUCK?!?!! **massive nosebleed** (wait can puppets… oh just never mind) WHAT THE HELL IS THIS COME ON PEOPLE!!! I'm NOT IN LOVE WITH **HIM**!! Deidara: In love with who Sasori-Danna? Sasori: Shit.

-Sasori… who has no idea what to say

* * *

Dear Zetsu, 

I have no family...but yeah. Bring it! Ah the all mighty fanfics! They bring even strong men to tears! Kay question: DO you find Tobi a pain at all?

-akatsuki black rose

Dear Akatsuki black rose,

Oh I'm sorry my other half can be well a bit mean sometimes. **UP YOURS! **Well Tobi can be quite annoying sometimes but he still a good boy. **What the hell are you talking about that idiot is the worst thing that happened to this place since Orochimaru!** That's a little harsh isn't it?

-Ze**tsu

* * *

**

Dear Tobi, 

...-sigh- Tobi hun...a pumpkin is not an animal, you've been lied to! Also who (besides Zetsu) is your favorite person in the Akatsuki?

-akatsuki black rose

Dear akatsuki black rose,

What!? (sniff) Deidara-senpai lied to Tobi aw well Dei-senpai is still Tobi's favourite!!! (tries to glomp him) **BOOM!!** Owwww Dei-senpaaaaiii that hurt Tobiiiiii. Deidara: SHUT UP!! And stop calling me that.

-Tobi the good boy

* * *

Dear Kakuzu, 

Yay! I love you! -hugs- And you better take good care of Mr. Weasel! He was a Christmas present! Anyways...did you make all the Akatsuki cloaks youself?

-akatsuki black rose

Dear akatsuki black rose,

Ummm you wel- wait Mr. Weasel? I'm not even gonna ask… I sewed the stupid things but Sir-leader designed them.

-kakuzu

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

No reason...I just really like scythes! Also did you ever think about having kids? Random.

-akatsuki black rose

Dear akatsuki black rose,

I guess I've thought about it… but who the hell would want to have kids with a psycho (me: or as my friend likes to put it religious coot) not to mention I'd have to watch them grow up and become old while I stayed the same I'd have to watch them die I'd have to watch my wife die as well. I'd just be too much of a hassle. (me:… my oc is your daughter and I'm immortal. Hidan: your different)

-hidan

* * *

Dear Flower-chan, 

Lucky I wanna join the Akatsuki, but I kinda made Leader-sama mad. -sniffle- Question time! Is blue and white your really hair color?

-akatsuki black rose

Dear akatsuki black rose,

Rule number 1 NEVER make leader angry. Blue is my natural hair color but I wear a flower in my hair hence flower-chan.

-flower-chan

* * *

Dear leader-sama, 

I'm sorry, I'm a girl I can't help it. Also come on, you know it's fun hitting people in the Akatsuki right? Okay question, this one is from my friend Yuna-chan. If you could be any animal what would you be?

-akatsuki black rose

Dear akatsuki black rose,

Yeah it is fun hitting people. Any animal eh? Hmmm I think a tiger yeah definitely a tiger strong, can be mysterious, handsome. Yes a tiger.

-Sir-leader

* * *

Dear leader, 

Why did you decide to make Akatsuki what made you?

-akatsukidreamer

Dear akatsukidreamer,

I decided to make the akatsuki because I could. My plan will give me complete control over… everything and nothing made me.

-Sir-leader

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

I heard somewere taht you have a little sister do you really?

-akatsukiDreamer

Dear akatsukidreamer,

I don't have a little sister… at least I don't think I have little sister… crap I'm going to have that question stuck in my head all day thanks a lot.

-Deidara

* * *

Dear Sasori, 

How does it feel knowing people are pairing you up with the girl who killed you (Sakura)?

-AkatskiDreamer

Dear akatsukidreamer,

It makes me feel very angry that they pair me up with that bitch I mean wtf people. she _killed _me

-sasori

* * *

Dear Kakuzu, 

Have you ever gone broke?

-AkatsukiDreamer

Dear akatsukidreamer,

NEVER!!!! MUHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

-kakuzu

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

Your awesome and i wanna know how you swing that big scythe of your it soo kool and looks heavy ' - '

-AkatsukiDreamer

Dear akatsukidreamer,

I can swing it because I am SUPER STRONG!!! Kakuzu: no your not your just strong enough to lift the scythe. Hidan: BUT you admit I am strong! Kakzu: sigh. Hidan: oh and jashin helps too.

-hidan

* * *

Dear Itachi, 

Do you like knowing people want you and your brother together?

-AkatsukiDreamer

Dear akatsukidreamer,

Ew

-itachi

* * *

Dear Kisame, 

Did the other members try to eat you ever?

-AkatsukiDreamer

Dear akatsukidreamer,

I've already answered that question (see chap 2)

-kisame

* * *

Dear Unknown Member, 

How does it feel to live with the Akatsuki? I ENVY YOU LOL

-AkatsukiDreamer

Dear akatsukidreamer,

2 words. Bad Ass.

-unknown member

* * *

Dear Zetsu , 

How is it like with two personality's is it hard?

-AkatsukiDreamer

Dear akatsukidreamer,

Yes it is very hard** it's a pain in the ass** we argue over everything** every single freakin thing but I always get my way** meanie

-ze**tsu

* * *

**

Dear Tobi , 

I know that you joined Akatsuki for zetsu -sensi but why did you take a liking to him and how did you meet him?

-AkatsukiDreamer

Dear akatsukidreamer,

Tobi met Zetsu when Tobi found the ring Zetsu appeared to get it and it went from there. Oh and Tobi likes Zetsu calls him a good boy!!

-Tobi the good boy

* * *

Dear Deidara and Sasori 

I really like your artistic styles and tastes. It's beautifully professional and a treat to watch! Sasori, please come back to life!! Deidara, can I have a little clay bird please? You guys are my favorites!

-TsukiharaKitty

Dear tsukiharakitty,

Sasori: Thanx we appreciate it at least someone understands our art though mine is superior. Deidara: shut up Sasori-danna my art surpasses yours no problem (then they fight for about 2 more hours)

-sasori and deidara

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

Have you ever hidden Kakuzu's money just to tick him off?

You have an ending this time! Yay

-Voltra

Dear voltra,

Yes many times before but I always end up losing something you know like arm or leg or something like that but it's definitely worth seeing kakuzu spazz out… hehe… I think I'm going to do that right now.

-hidan

* * *

Dear Kakuzu,  
Now that you've done... whatever embarrassing thing you did (which I'm pretty sure I no longer want to know what you would do) I think now would be an opportune time to tell you... I'm broke! But before I prepare to run like heck, I would like to ask one final question: How does that make you FEEL? 

-ThexMortalxAngel

Dear ThexMortalxAngel,

I did something embarrassing? (deidara comes in with pictures and shows kakuzu) OMFG!!! I did THAT to HIDAN?! AND YOU TOOK PICTURES DEIDARA? (deidara runs) well clearly means I was drunk and your BROKE!!? That makes me feel angry very angry so prepare to die.

-kakuzu who is finding your address

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

First off, you are the coolest Akatsuki member ever. Seriously. You pwn everyone else with your awesomeness. I would totally convert to Jashinism if I could somehow survive the rituals. :P Okay, now the question: Yours eyes are really interesting and I was curious if they've been that way since birth or if you have, I dunno, contacts or something?

P.S. I don't wanna come off as some crazy fangirl but...I AM a loyal fan and I want to stab Shikamaru for burying you! I'd honestly grab a shovel and come dig you out if I could.

Sincerely,  
Darkfire75

Dear darkfire75,

I know, I know I'm the best. Jashinism is a very dangerous religion to follow. My eyes are a pinkish color which is interesting I think it's called albino or something like that and of course they aren't contacts who do you think I am Itachi? Yeah I wanna stab shikamaru too and thanks for your loyalty.

-hidan

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

I LOVE YOU! and i want you to be Sasorie's boyfriend!

-emo-neko-sakuya

Dear emo-neko-sakuya,

Ummm that's nice?

-Deidara

* * *

Dear sasori, 

except deidara as ur boyfriend

-emo-neko-sakuya

Dear emo-neko-sakuya,

He never asked

-sasori

* * *

Dear Itachi, 

i love u 2! will u plz marry me? plz plz plz (gives puppy eye look)

-emo-neko-sakuya

Dear emo-neko-sakuya,

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO!!!

-itachi

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

HAIL THE ALL MIGHTY JASHIN-SAMA!

-emo-neko-sakuya

Dear emo-neko-sakuya,

Damn straight.

-hidan

* * *

Dear Kakuzu, 

i will give u a billion bucks if u rape Hidan.

-emo-neko-sakuya

Dear emo-neko-sakuya,

LIES!!!

-kakuzu

* * *

Dear everyone, 

wat r ur favorite books?

-emo-neko-sakuya

Dear emo-neko-sakuya,

Hidan: Jashin's bible, Kakuzu: money (It IS a book), Itachi: doesn't really read anymore, Kisame: Twelve days of terror, sasori: making puppets come alive, Deidara: lord of the rings trilogy (me: I don't even know), Zetsu: the cannibal within, Leader: the harry potter series (me: same as deidra's comment), flower-chan: I dunno, Tobi: doesn't read

-everyone

* * *

Dear Itachi, 

Do you ever regrete anything in you life other than having to answer these questions from fans?

-evilsis

Dear evilsis,

The one thing I regret is leaving my stupid brother alive I mean he tried to kill his best friend left his village and killed his teacher (though he was evil) it seems he is as bad as me.

-Itachi

* * *

Dear Kisame, 

I heard from a very reliable source that one day she heard you sing the song blue by Eiffel 65.Is that true?

-evilsis

Dear evilsis,

Well it was a karaoke party what else was I supposed to sing "so happy together"?

-kisame

* * *

Dear Tobi, 

What would you say if I told you are a very bad boy if you joined the Akatsuki?

-evilsis

Dear evilsis,

Tobi would call you a liar and call you a meanie.

-Tobi who IS a good boy

* * *

Dear kakuzu, 

How did the counseling go?

-evilsis

Dear evilsis,

Terrible I ended up killing the psychiatrist and because I killed him I got yelled at by leader which sux.

-kakuzu

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

Would you mind making a bomb for me? I will even pay you for it.

-evilsis

Dear evilsis,

Sure I don't mind but I need a picture of you to do it… and you do know I'm gonna blow it up right?

-deidara

* * *

Dear sasori, 

Why don't you tell a certain someone you like them?

-evilsis

Dear evilsis,

How do you know?!?! I mean what gave you that idea?!? I mean I DON"T LIKE ANYONE AND I WILL NEVER TELL THEM!!!!-I mean… damn it.

-sasori

* * *

Dear Zetsu, 

You do know that you are one of my most favorite characters in the whole manga?

-evilsis

Dear evilsis,

That's wonderful! **Sweeeeeet.**

**-Ze**tsu

* * *

Dear flower-chan, 

How do you get your hair to look like that?

-evilsis

Dear evilsis,

What do you mean, my hair was naturally blue then I put a white flower in it. It's quite simple, plus I'm almost never facing forward when Kishimoto's crew takes their stupid pictures.

-flower-chan

* * *

Dear leader, 

I'm very evil but I can't the d-mn shadows to stay around me! How do you do it?

-evilsis

Dear evilsis,

I'm more specialer than you.

-leader

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

this is the most important one Hidan: Please explain your religion to me. It seems quite interesting, Especially the sacrifices.

-evilsis

Dear evilsis,

My Religion is for the god Jashin It's symbol is the circle with an upside down triangle in it, in a battle anything less than a death is a sin. I Sacrifice for Jashin-sama to not sin and so the sacrificed are given judgement (being killed early gives them less of a chance to sin) Jashin-sama demands sacrifices for many reasons I have only named a couple.

-Hidan

* * *

Dear hidan, 

How did you become immortal? Does your religion have a bible or something of the sort?  
P.S. YOU ROCK! though you were a bastard for killing asuma.

-Akuma ame

Dear akuma ame,

Being faithful to my religion really did a lot for me. I do have a bible though it is incredibly old I don't know if they have any more. For the P.S. I KNOW I ROCK!! I know I'm a bastard for blah blah I've heard it a million times already. Jash.

-hidan

* * *

Dear Sasori and Deidara, 

Will Dei-chan and Saso-kun get made if i send them SasoDei pics?

-Randomness 'IS' me

Dear Randomness 'IS' me,

Both: WHAT!?!?!?! Sasori: If you send those pictures I swear that I'll kill you in an incredibly _painful_ way. Deidara: Me too and it will include explosives

-sasori and deidara

* * *

Dear Zetsu, 

White-san awesome, and Black-san can screw himself!

-Randomness 'IS' me

Dear Randomness 'IS' me,

Hehehe… **UP URS!!**

**-Ze**tsu

* * *

Dear Kisame, Sasori, and Tobi, 

Kisame: hehe FISH FACE! Saso-kun: hehe DEAD FACE Tobi: hehe NO FACE...well a hot no face...

ps. MUHAHA I'm in the Akatsuki...and Itachi stop staring at me...what? NO! GET AWAY ITACHI!

-randomness 'IS' me

Dear Randomness 'IS' me,

Kisame: (sniff) you're a jerkface!!!! (cries) Sasori: same as kisame… well except the crying part. Tobi: YAY!! Tobi is a hot no face!!!! For the p.s. that's nice

-kisame, sasori and tobi the good boy

* * *

Dear hidan, 

What do you do, stuck under tons of rock every day? And on second thought, how did you manage to fall into that trap anyways?

-eleirah

Dear eleirah,

I count to a billion or count how many bugs pass me buy… or read my magazine (me: yes he is powerful enough to turn the pages with no hands) And that fag Shikamaru was the one who made a big hole with exploding seals and buried me in it… that shithead.

-hidan

* * *

Dear Tobi, 

What started the 'good boy' thing?

-eleirah

Dear eleriah,

Zetsu started it!!! Zetsu called me a good boy and Tobi liked it so tobi stuck to it.

-tobi

* * *

Dear Sasori, 

Do you actually like Deidara? As in a partner? 'Cause you seemed pretty annoyed with him for most of the series...

-eleirah

Dear eleirah,

SEE!!! Thank you at least someone realises I DO NOT LIKE HIM!!! (me: sure sasori) SHUT UP!! As for a partner he can be annoying but at least he can get the job done.

-Sasori

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

Have you ever blown any of Sasori's puppets up by accident?

-eleirah

Dear eleirah,

Yeah once he was so pissed off I hid in Hidan and Kakuzu's room for a week, why their room? Because there is so much shouting, banging, and thumping (from them beating each other up for you dirty minded people) no one ever goes in their room, not even sasori.

-deidara

* * *

Dear Leader, 

DO does it feel, being a shadowy thing for the whole series so far?

-eleirah

Dear eleirah,

It makes me feel mysterious also cool but it is a little lonely cause there aren't many pairings of me cause I don't have a name and I don't have a body… well not one that you can see.

-leader

* * *

Dear kakuzu, 

What is with the tentacles? I mean, how did you manage to get them?

-eleirah

Dear eleirah,

I always had theses tentacles or tendrils I was born with them they're like a kekki genki (sp?) but aren't.

-kakuzu

* * *

A/n: listen I know I missed a lot of questions and I'm really sorry but there were so many but I'll include them in the next chapter I'm REALLY sorry and i hope you liked this chapter 


	6. sorry it took so long!

Ask the Akatsuki

OMJ I'm SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG I SO LAZY!!!! (hits self with hammer) FORGIVE ME!!!! And I tried to include as many as possible and some of your question aren't even question but that's alright cause I'm nice but still I'm SO SORRY!!!!… you know what I like saying? YOUR MOM!

* * *

Dear Kakuzu, 

I will not bribe you but if you bribe me I will make you fuck Hidan...I HATE MONEY!! MUAHAHAAHHAHA! oh question...so your power...uh can you 'use' it for 'anything'? I also think If you met hinata you could give her to hidan and get al her money! HIDANXHINATA! WOOT!

From Honeymusterd

Dear Honeymusterd,

I use it for killing people and to stitch that idiot hidan up when he gets himself destroyed in some way. And for the other things you said MONEY RULES ALL!!!! HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT!!… it could pwn ur ass And who the hell is Hinata?

-kakuzu

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

My friends and I think you are kind of like 'Envy' from FMA do you agree? oh and I think You can find me at so just look up HONEYMUSTERD I am the one with all the weird pairings...heeheehee

From an obvious perverted teen,  
-Honeymusterd

Dear Honeymusterd,

How the fuck am I like envy? And is Envy a she or he… ohhh I get it now FOR GOD'S SAKE I AM A MAN!!!!!! Notice deep manly voice waaaayyy to deep for a girl's and I'd rather not look at your messed up pairing… you messed up teen.

-Deidara

* * *

Dear sasori, 

are you "HARD"?

FROM  
HONEYMUSTERD...

P.S.- if you know what I mean wink

Dear Honeymusterd,

W. T. F?

-Sasori

* * *

Dear leader, 

Have you ever herd of a comb?

From  
Honeymusted

Dear Honeymusterd,

No, no I have not… I'll go ask Hidan or Deidara or Itachi… maybe even kakuzu

-Leader

* * *

Dear Itachi, 

My sources tell me that Hyuuga Hinata has big boobs...do you agree? (of course you do!...don't you?)

From  
Honeymusterd

Dear Honeymusterd,

Same thing sasori said

-Itachi

* * *

Dear Kisame, 

i think you like Itachi... you are the uke! hahahahah...ha!

-Honeymusterd

Dear Honeymusterd,

Prove it. you can't can you!?! I mean even if I did which I don't what chance would I have I mean its Itachi, ITACHI people! He's way to emotionless to even know what love is (me: he sounds like Gaara) so I would never like him and even if I did he would probably never like me back… unless you give him drugs… a lot of them… or beer… A lot of it.

-Kisame

* * *

Dear Flower-Chan, 

yes or no?

From Honeymusted

Dear Honeymusterd,

YOUR MOM!!!! Ohhhhh (me: hehehe…)

-flower-chan

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

I found this cool flash game on Deviant Art that lets me play dress up with you and Kakuzu... But when I tried to take your underwear off it called me a pervert! Then Kakuzu's underwear made a face at me that looked like this:D ...Can you help?

PS-Your fangirls will dig you up!

-Venny-

Dear Venny,

Now why the FUCK were you trying to take off my underwear? In fact why is there a dress up game with kakuzu and me? I Will not help you cause I don't even know what the fuck that game is doing there anyway.

PS: Damn right they will! But how am I gonna get stitched back up kakuzu is dead.

-Hidan

* * *

Dear Kakuzu, 

Hidan is a smexy weirdo and I love that about people. Can I buy him from you?

-Venny-

Dear Venny,

Ummm okaaay. 10000000000000000000000000 yen plz. Hey it's hard to find a partner that doesn't die I don't have to keep finding a new one.

-Kakuzu

* * *

Dear Itachi, 

I'm not a crazed fangirl, so I won't do your bidding and kill the people you hate, but I won't steal your stuff either because I happen to respect you.

However... I did ruin your personality and turn you into a crazed pervert, out to make Hinata bleed in more ways than one!... Fanfiction is my god...(..) Will you ever forgive me?

-Venny-

Dear Venny,

You see venny in my world respect is not making someone into a crazed pervert. No I will not forgive you. Also you seem to still be a crazed fangirl considering you did that to me

-Itachi

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

I love you. But not in a crazed way because you killed Gaara (MY TRUE LOVE!). Though I do love your style of art (XD Blowing people up!) and I wish you luck in finding your arms. nn Can I have your autograph?

-Venny-

Dear Venny,

Well it's kinda hard to make an autograph with NO ARMS! Oh wait I found one! But leader doesn't let us send anything to people outside the base something about some Anbu tracking it.

-Deidara

* * *

Dear Zetsu, 

I know you're growing tobacco on your toes but I think I should tell you that it's pointless because the world's going to pot. Aside from that, shrooms probably have a cooler effect. -- Or... are you growing those too?

-Venny-

Dear Venny,

I'm not growing anything other than this flytrap. Also wtf!?!

-Zetsu (Me: GASP only one answered Zetsu: the other one is asleep me: I see)

* * *

Dear Kisame, 

A lot of people think your sharkiness is smexy (myself included) so don't feel left out. Kakuzu's the real ugly Akatsuki member, although his money-grubbing coolness surpasses that... Can I eat your kankles?

-Venny-

Dear Venny,

Why thank you (kakuzu: YOUR MOM!!! Other than the money part. me: kakuzu isn't ugly) and WTF is a KANKLE?!?

-Kisame

* * *

Dear Tobi, 

I adore your shmawsome mask! But I think the one I made in art class is better... It looks like a green haired Indian with red, yellow and blue skin and a nose ring made of straw.

Haven't you ever considered making a new mask (perhaps one as interesting as mine) just for a change?

-Venny-

Dear Venny,

But Tobi's mask is his image! Any other mask would just look silly! I mean imagine tobi with a different mask.

-Tobi the good boy

* * *

Dear Leader 

You're an idiot. Everybody knows you're the Yondaime (AKA: Naruto's dad) so quit denying it. Also, you of all people should realize that there's no point in taking revenge on the whole village of Konoha when the majority of them never did anything to you!

PS-Can I have your autograph?... because you're pretty cool despite all that.

-Venny-

Dear Venny,

Am not!! You Can't prove anything Yondaime is dead get over it though it is a possibility And we can't risk sending mail outside the lair. Yondaime is to good to start the akatsuki anyway.

-Yond- I mean leader damn it!

* * *

Dear Sasori, 

LOL I nearly forgot you... Anyway, I think you're the most kick ass barbie ever, but you shouldn't you think about covering a little bit more skin with that drag? I mean, think of the fangirls. :I They'll eat you alive!

-Venny-

Dear Venny,

I'm not a Barbie. I'm a puppet 2 VERY different things 1 is a stupid doll, the other is a killing… thing. And the Fangirls can't eat me alive because 1 I am made of wood and 2 I am dead.

-Sasori

* * *

Dear 'all', 

Some of you are extremely ugly, and some of you are so undeniably hawt that your looks alone cause gravity, but all of you have your good points about you... Except the so called 'flower-chan' because I don't know anything about her.

Anyway, have fun eating cheap grilled cheese sandwiches, enhaling salt water, kissing Jashin-sama's universal boots, and... doing whatever else you people do!

Eternal sunshine and everlasting darkness to all!

-Venny-

Dear Venny,

Uh-huh yeah ok we will. Deidara and Itachi: heh I bet we're the gravity ones! Sasori: me too! (kakuzu: I'm not ugly am I? Me: don't worry kakuzu your not ugly YOU HAVE AWESOME HAIR!! Kakuzu: I guess)

-everyone

* * *

Dear Tobi, 

tobi will you marry me?

-kindcrazynarutofan

Dear kindcrazynarutofan,

I'll go ask Zetsu!!! (goes to ask… 5mins later) Zetsu says Tobi's not allowed to zetsu what is a wedding anyway?

-Tobi the good boy

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

Is it true your related to a certain slytherin from harry potter? btw his name is draco malfoy

Rambonata,

Dear Ranbota,

So many fucking people ask me that!!!! NO!!! it's just cause of our hair!!!! JASHIN!!! A HAIRSTYLE DOES NOT MAKE YOU RELATED!!!

-Hidan

* * *

Dear Everybody, 

How do you feel when you kill someone? IS IT WEIRD? o.O iTS ODD BUT KOOL

AkatsukiDreamer

Dear AkatsukiDreamer,

It feels normal we do on a daily basis except for Tobi we don't feel anything unless your Hidan then you feel pleasure or Zetsu cause then your happy cause you get to eat and then kisame just is happy cause he got to kill someone.

-everyone

* * *

Dear Sasori, 

I feel your pain. You certainly don't act like you have any affection towards him for the part you have in the anime. Question time. How did you manage to kill the Kazekage?

-Eleirah

Dear Eleirah,

I kidnapped him when he was on a mission and killed him there it was with poison I believe maybe a very slow and painful death but it was a while ago so I'm not entirely sure.

-Sasori

* * *

Dear Zetsu, 

Damn. You need more screen-time in the anime. Out of all of the Akatsuki, you have to be one of the best. One thing - why /do/ you like Tobi so much?

-Eleirah

Dear eleirah,

I know it makes me a bit sad **It makes me ANGRY!!!! **But what can I do? **KILL!!!!** I like Tobi because he is a good boy he does what he is told to do… most of the time… ok not really but he's good company… fine I just like his mask **KILL EAT DESTROY!!!!!!! THEN EAT MORE!!!!**

**-Ze**tsu

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

Just a thought - do you like your partner? He comes off as kind of a jackass... And I agree with you on being buried. You and Zetsu are the best ones in the Akatsuki, after all.

-Eleirah

Dear Eleirah,

I hate that fat ass, jack ass, heathen, bastard, fuckface…. And you get the picture he's a jerk and I don't like him I'm TALKING TO YOU YAOI FANS!!!… Jashin I need a better job that doesn't involve me in that kind of thing and without jackass partners. Oh and I know I am one of the best thanks.

-Hidan

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

Have you ever thought of what might become of that 'hmm' you add to the end of each sentence when they do the English anime? After what happened with Naruto's 'Believe it'... I'd be worried.

-Eleirah

Dear Eleirah,

I have thought about this many times, and every time I nearly shit myself knowing what they might do to my precious hmm/un it might be so horrible or maybe just a simple yeah that would be the best option

-deidara

* * *

Dear Kakuzu, 

What the hell do you mean lies? Wait. Have you raped him? O.o OMG! Have you?

-SakuyaAndChoLoveTwilight

Dear SakuyaAndChoLoveTwilight,

No. what I meant was that you DO NOT have a billion dollars.

-kakuzu

* * *

Dear everyone, 

Okay, the fangirls are beginning to scare me. Do you guys have some form of alarm to warn you if fangirls are coming? (If not, you should consider it)

-atlantiandragoness

Dear atlantiandragoness,

We have one NOW we got one right after the first attack of the rapid fangirls it was a war we called it the night of 1000 fangirls it was terrible. Itachi was a mess by the end of it some of his hair was gone almost all his clothes were gone (kisame came in to help him cause he had a lot less) poor Itachi hair out of it's regular ponytail. It's the most expression from him I've ever seen. Sasori stood his ground and managed to come back with only an arm gone (he's a puppet remember) though still a bit traumatized. Deidara (shudder) poor guy, his clay was taken and with an arm gone after the battle we could barely recognize him. No one came in to help him like Itachi because Sasori was to busy with his own fans… his hair was down some parts missing clothes gone, eye camera gone, bruised everywhere, (not to mention he also had fanboys who thought he was a girl) he looked as if he was on the verge of a nervous break down.

Hidan Hidan's hair after the battle was NOT slicked back cloak gone pants barely intact bruises also every where Kakuzu managed to help him out though he still had his own his mask and hat thing were also gone cloak too. Zetsu looked well after the battle he seemed to have full stomach and a very pleased look on his face and you could guess what happened. Tobi like Deidara had a rough time his mask was gone his new cloak too he was crying as well which made us feel a little guilty he was really only a kid after all.

Flower-chan and I were safe being so mysterious has it's upsides. Oh I forgot the worst part the Yaoi fans but that's a story for another day.

-leader who told the Story

* * *

Hidan, 

The curse of boredom has struck upon me. Help.

Sleepy...

Voltra

Dear Voltra,

Read the bible or go sacrifice some bastards.

-Hidan

* * *

Dear everyone, 

ok my partner doesnt agree with this, I killed a person, set the body on fire... cuz fire is awsome... then put the body in a inn and watched it catch fire. THE BODY DID IT! I only did one murder . . Right?

-datenshi25

Dear datenshi,

Itachi: I agree that fire is awesome but you lit the body on fire then put it in the inn so I would say you did it.

Kisame: who cares if it's more than one murder?

Deidara: yeah I blame it on the body cause you lit it on fire but the body was the one who set the inn on fire.

Sasori: You did it. You lit the body on fire that set the inn on fire it was your fault

Hidan: Hey the more murders the better, more sacrifices to Jashin-sama WOOT!

Kakuzu: I'd say you did it you did light the body on fir then put it in the hotel where other people were.

Tobi: didn't understand the question.

Zetsu: yum bbq haven't had that in a while

Flower-chan: you didn't d o it the body did

Leader: same as flower-chan

-everyone

* * *

Dear Sasori-Danna and Deidara-Danna 

There is this really annoying kid in my class who is A. Make fun of you and B. Is making fun of my art. Can you ether turn him into a puppet or blow him up. P.S You bouth kick but and they should bring you back to life Sasori-Danna. P.P.S Can I give you bouth a hug and teach me how to make puppet's and exploding clay stuff.

-kazekage twitch

Dear Kazekage Twitch,

We would really like to that jack ass but leader won't let us leave other than for missions sorry. For the P.S yeah we know and deidara really wants that but it's not possible for the PPS sure I guess though I'm guessing Deidara will make me hug you and we wish we could teach you but leader said it was prohibited.

-Sasori and Deidara

* * *

Dear deidara 

How did ur hands and eye get that way?  
was it an accident or did ur dad like want to make u a weapon or some thing...  
P.S. u no that probably all the akatsuki membaers are litening right?  
OH and how can u get the clay to explode with out that mouths?

WeIrD-fRoG

Dear WeIrD-fRoG,

I was born with my hands like this. As for the eye I broke something very valuable of Sasori's once and offered to repay him with my eye. He took the offer but felt like he was leaving me at a huge disadvantage so he offered to replace it with something that would be even better the mechanical eye wasn't valuable to Sasori so he operated on me to attach it so here I am. For the second question all I have to focus my chakra to make it explode.

-Deidara

* * *

Dear Leader and Tobi, 

are you two both Uchihas?? cause there are plenty of rumors that the leader is Madara Uchiha and that Tobi is Obito Uchiha?? besides Tobi and Obito has plenty in common...if so...then there will be 3 Uchihas in the akatsuki?? Oh please don't be harsh on me...I'm just trying to comfirm it...

sincerely yours,  
pinkwysteriahoshiprincess  
P.S  
I love akatsuki...you rule!

Dear pinkwysteriahoshiprincess,

Leader: If I was Mandara Uchiha 1 I would NOT have blue eyes and 2 I would be around 90 years old.

Tobi: WHO IS THIS OBITO PERSON!!!!! TOBI DOESN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING FROM HIS PAST LEAVE TOBI ALONE!!!… (breathing heavily then recovers) Tobi is sorry for his freak out but he just doesn't know.

-Leader and Tobi

* * *

dear itachi, hidan and deidara 

why r u so sexy? explain or suffer somehow

-moogle in paradaisu

Dear moogle in paradaisu,

Itachi: Because I lack nothing

Deidara: I was born that way?

Hidan: because Jashin-sama created me like that. CONVERT NOW

-Itachi, Deidara, Hidan

* * *

Dear tobi, 

What does a good boy look like naked (removal of orange spiral mask included)?

-moogle in paradaisu

Dear moogle in paradaisu,

Let Tobi go ask Zetsu (goes to ask… comes back) The answer is (glare) what the FUCK is wrong with you?

-Tobi

* * *

Dear leader, 

Can I be in the Akatsuki? please? I'll kill people for you:3

-Akatsuki-Dawn of Love

Dear Akatsuki-Dawn of Love,

Do you have the secret decoder ring?

-leader

* * *

Dear deidara, 

OMG YOUR SO HAWT AND KOOL AND I LIKE EXPLOSIVES WILL YOU MARRY ME?!?!

-Akatsuki-Dawn of Love

Dear Akatsuki-Dawn of love,

Let me back to you on that.

-Deidara

* * *

Dear Sasori, 

Sorry no Deidara for you! i know you love him but your mean to him and don't deserve Deidara! otherwise your awesome i like how you "chose to die in the loving embrace of your parents" that was cute. did you really?\

-Akatsuki-Dawn of love,

Dear Akatsuki-Dawn of love,

You can have him because I DO NOT LIKE HIM!!! And I'm not to mean not that I care or anything. For the second thing SHHHHHH don't tell the other guys they'll make fun of me and do you know what it's like being made fun of by a shark man and plant dude it's humiliating.

-Sasori

* * *

Dear Itachi, 

your cool, and how do you keep the fangirls from raping you?

-Akatsuki-Dawn of love

Dear Akatsuki-Dawn of love,

That's why I have Kisame not because he's ugly I mean he has his own fangirls and stuff but he's a lot bigger and has Samehada he's like a bodyguard.

-Itachi

* * *

Dear kakuzu, 

Why do you have so many hearts?

-Akatsuki-Dawn of love

Dear Akatsuki-Dawn of love,

So I can love even more!!! No seriously it's so I can live a much longer life I'm basically immortal.

-Kakuzu

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

Your sort of creepy. like a lot. this isn't really a question, is it? wait i just asked one. AHH PARADOX!

-Akatsuki-Dawn of love

Dear Akatsuki-Dawn of love,

Yeah that's wonderful fuck you. (me: don't worry he says that to everyone Hidan: fuck you me: see?)

-Hidan

* * *

Dear Flower-chan, 

why are you so mysterious?

-Akatsuki-Dawn of love

Dear Akatsuki-Dawn of love,

Why do you want to know?

-Flower-chan

* * *

Dear Tobi, 

Your annoying. i hate you. i find it extremely amusing when someone hurts you. you are a bad boy. Will you just die for me?

-Akatsuki-Dawn of love

Dear Akatsuki-Dawn of Love,

(sniff sniff) It's not Tobi's fault that's just how Tobi is!!!! (cries)

-Tobi who is now very sad (me: way to go please no more character bashing)

* * *

Dear Zetsu, 

Your cool, do you have a "physical relationship" with that fern in your hideout? i think your cute together. (don't ask how i know where your hideout is)

-Akatsuki-Dawn of love

Dear Akatsuki-Dawn of love,

No, no I don't **WTF A FERN? WHY THE HELL WOULD I?!**

**-Ze**tsu

* * *

Dear Kisame, 

I love you cause your a fish. why aren't your pairings ever with anybody but itachi? and Sakura, but there is only 2...

-Akatsuki-Dawn of Love

Dear Akatsuki-Dawn of Love,

Because partners are always paired up and I'm too sharky for anybody else… that's right sharky is a word. And wtf sakura? That's messed.

-kisame

* * *

Dear Dei-kun, 

I wove you can I hug you and can buy some pictures of Hid-chan and Kazu-kun making out?

-Randomness 'IS' me

Dear Randomness 'IS' me,

What will you give me in return? I can't go giving blackmail away for free you know. (hidan and kakuzu: WE WERE DRUNK!!)

-Deidara

* * *

Dear saso-kun 

will you kill flower-chan for me?

-Randomness 'IS' me

Dear Randomness 'IS' me,

Why? Flower-chan is a nice person. She's always nice to everyone… everyone she knows she can trust that is. I don't want to kill her

-sasori

* * *

Dear Zetsu, 

White-san I wove you as much as Dei-kun, and Black-san UP YOURS! right back at you!

-Randomness 'IS' me

Dear Randomness'IS' me,

Yay I love when people say they love me… cause it doesn't happen that often **YOUR MOM! I hope you die in a ditch then I come and eat you! **(me: Jashin I feel really bad for white-san having to live with him)

**-Ze**tsu

* * *

Dear Tobi, 

(GloMP)

-Randomness 'IS' me

Dear Randomness 'IS' me,

YAY!!! (glomps back)

-Tobi

* * *

Dear Itachi-Sama, 

Have you ever wanted to change your name to stop the whole weasel thing? And why get Mangekyo if it means killing your best friend? (Although could you use it against this girl I hate from my old school her name is Jasmine)

Please don't kill me,  
DrakeGirl-San

Dear DrakeGirl-San,

YES I would've too if leader wasn't such an ass, he said I couldn't cause it'd be to complicated for everyone to relearn one stupid name. God he drives me insane! As for killing my best friend it's the same answer for the clan I needed to test my abilities.

-Itachi

* * *

Dear everyone… well some are more specific, 

1:what made you join akatsuki? 2:deidara is it true that you joined because you wanted a hat? 3:tobi what in the world is behind your mask?! do you even have a face?!? thats all!piece!:p

-kindcrazynarutofan

Dear kindcrazynarutofan,

Most of us wanted the power, I mean imagine having the power of those demons at your disposal, to have everything you ever wanted. 2) NO! I joined for the same answer given for 1. 3) Of course Tobi has a face how else would Tobi be able to see? That's so silly! Having no face… Tobi has one… in a way I mean some of it's… nevermind! Tobi's said too much.

-everyone

* * *

Dear all akatsuki, 

i luv u all! especially ita-kun!! anywayz what is your favourite food? and bands?!

-I luv u –im bored-

Dear I luv u –im bored-,

Itachi: um thanks? Dango, Billy Talent.

Kisame: Steak, My chemical romance.

Deidara: Dumplings, the Pettit project.

Sasori: doesn't eat, Linkin park

Tobi: LOLLIPOPS!!! Mika/DDR

Hidan: BLOOOOOD nah just kidding hamburgers, three days grace

Kakuzu: cheap food, Muse

Zetsu: human flesh, System of a down

Flower-chan: both unknown

Leader: same as flower-chan

-everyone

* * *

Dear ita-kun 

rarely people pair u up with Temari what do u think of that? and when they pair u up with sakura? anywayz i luv u all akatsuki!! especially ita-kun!

-I luv u –im bored-

Dear I luv u –im bored-

I'm glad that I'm not paired up with Temari AND I HATE IT WHEN THEY PAIR ME UP WITH THAT PINK HAIRED BAKA!!!! (me: Sakura isn't even that bad though) I don't care there's no way we would ever get together.

-Itachi

* * *

Dear Everyone, 

Can any of you play instruments? Just curious. I've noticed visual art in the Akatsuki, but no music. It saddens me.

-Toasty.

Dear Toasty,

No sorry we don't really play instruments I mean Itachi and can play the guitar and Hidan can play the drums… and Sasori plays the violin… And Kakuzu can play saxophone… Zetsu can play the piano but other then that no we don't really play anything.

-everyone

* * *

Dear Sasori, 

Do puppets blush? Because..uhh...I saw some pictures..and..uhh...

-Toasty.

Dear Toasty,

Not usually unless I created them with that ability as for me I shouldn't be able to but on some RARE occasions it happens BUT it doesn't usually happen okay! And… and it had nothing to do with deidara-kun… I MEAN DEIDARA JUST DEIDARA!

-Sasori

* * *

Hidan, 

For some reason, everytime I hear the song "The Beast and the Harlot," I think of you. Ever heard that song? If you haven't, go hear it NOW.  
Also, what are your views on the subject of crossdressing?

-Toasty

Dear Toasty,

Well now I've heard it though I have no fucking Idea how that song relates to me in any way. For crossdressing that's just wrong okay it's just plain wrong… why do you ask? (squinty eyes)

-hidan

* * *

Deidara, 

Can you sing well? I wanna hear!

-Toasty

Dear Toasty,

Um yeah I guess I can but I'm not very good (tobi: YES YOU ARE TOBI HEARD YOU sempai is very good!) thanks Tobi but he's just being nice trust me.

-Deidara

* * *

Everyone (Again), 

Have any of you ever played Guitar Hero or Guitar Hero II? If so, who's the best at it, and what is each of your favourite songs to play?

-Toasty

Dear Toasty,

Only Itachi, he said he kicked ass in it though he wasn't paying attention to the song (it was in a store on display)

-everyone

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

This might sound like a crazed fangirl, so I'm warning you now.  
First off, other than you, is there anyother Jashin-ists out there?  
second, if not, I might convert (maybe).  
And third, why are there pictures of you and Kakuzu naked up on the internet?

-PrimaryLotusUser

Dear PrimaryLotusUser,

For the first no unfortunately I'm the only one something about not wanting to die. For the second well can you survive having a spear plunged through your chest and do you enjoy pain? (twitch) for the third FANARTS THEY'RE ALL FANARTS FOR JASHIN'S SAKE I'm NOT GAY!!!!!! (me: really?) yes (me: REALLY?) YES! (me:… REEEEAAALLLY?) YES!!! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?!?! (me: I dunno)

-hidan

* * *

A/n: ahhhh finally done again I'm so sorry this took so long and I'll try to be quicker next time! 


	7. yay for new chapter

AKATSUKI CH 7 WOOOOOOOt I would like to just say thanx to everyone for the reviews n stuff and you can send in suggestions on anything you want changed! Cause the questioners come first moving to the questions! Listening I'm doing the q's a bit randomly so bear with me they might be put with partners seperatley out the entire thing in one. Tell me what you like!

* * *

dear deidara and tobi 

deidara- do you know that Ino stole your hair style? and i knew you were a boy through the entire series. Your my favorite.  
I love you!

Tobi- How did you get up after beeing skewered by sasuke?  
see chpt 357

Sarah's question for tobi- why did you cry for deidara? he didnt deserve it.  
Nickels says- hey!  
Sarah- grins innocently

-Nickels

Dear Nickels,

Deidara- ohh that bitch I'll get her for sure no-one steals my hairstyle! Especially if it's a girl!

Tobi- The hit wasn't lethal, he basically just whacked me with it, and for Sarah Because he's my sempai!!!!

-Tobi & Deidara

* * *

Dear Itachi, 

In the last chapter you told "I luv u -im bored-" that you would never be in a relationship with Sakura... But what about Hinata?

PS-Do you really think you stand a chance against fandom?

-Venny-

Dear Venny,

…no. I do realise I don't have a chance against fandom but that doesn't mean I won't godamn try! (action pose)

-Itachi

* * *

Dear Leader, 

If you won't let the members of Akatsuki send mail out then why have you enabled this fanfiction? In other words: Why haven't you shut it down?

-Venny-

Dear Venny,

That's a very good question but I'll pretend I didn't hear it because do you really want me to shut it down also it keeps the other members from going insane.

-leader

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

Dear Hidan,

The dress up game with you and Kakuzu and the angry underwear is gone! I don't know where to find it! Are you responsible? If so you'll have hell to pay!... Except you'll probably never get there...

-Venny-

Dear Venny,

What are you gonna do if I did do it? You can't kill me! I AM IMMORTAL MUAHAHAHA (kakuzu: HIDAN SHUT THE HELL UP!) why don't you make me? (kakuzu: do you want me to get drunk again?) … fine but still I might of done I might of not I dunno… wait that doesn't sound right (kakuzu: oh just shut up)

-hidan

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

My friend is writing this funny fanfiction with you and Shikamaru for a pairing. Do you think you'll ever check it out?

PS-You're one of my more favorite characters, so I hope your battle with Sasuke in the japanese manga goes well. Live long and KICK BUTT!

-Venny-

Dear Venny,

No I don't think I want to read a fanfiction of me paired with the guy that buried hidan alive… I might check it out if I want to read a scary story though. As for the PS They better not kill me off I'll be really pissed off. I want to live long and kick butt.

-Deidara

* * *

Dear Sasori, 

You are too a barbie! And you're fangirls WOULD eat you! They don't care if wood isn't edible!

...How did it feel to get some major woop'n from a "kid" and an old fart? MEH HE!

-Venny-

Dear Venny,

(sigh) are you done killing my dignity I would really like to have it back and I don't care I'm DEAD they can't eat me!

-Sasori

* * *

Dear Zetsu, 

I think you're pretty awesome, so if you want I'll donate one of my hands and my little sister for you to feed on. (I need the other hand to destroy reality with fanfiction

-Venny

Dear Venny,

That would be really awesome! **Too bad you can't cause that BASTARD Leader finally snapped when Itachi got over ten-thousand valentines** on that special day leader said no more packages or letters or anything something about how they keep finding us.

-Ze

* * *

Dear Akatsuki's-fangirl, 

What's it like interviewing them?

-atlantiandragoness

Dear atlantiandragoness,

Sweet I've never gotten a question before! Well it's strange but fun with Zestu you gotta keep a couple body parts with you (not your own) in case he gets hungry. With leader you gotta keep the light on or just keep half the room dark for him to stand in. Sasori you have to do this weird spirit summon. I don't even know how the hell hidan or kakuzu show up they just do (for kakuzu never bring money with you, for hidan don't say anything about your own religion). Itachi keep conversation to a minimum just, ask the question.

Kisame and deidara are probably the most normal course I'm a fan of deidara so I just screw things up. For Tobi just bring candy and never ask Flower-chan to turn around.

-Akatsuki's-fangirl

* * *

Dear Flower-chan, 

What kind of flower is in your hair? it's very pretty.

-atlantiandragoness

Dear atlantiandragoness,

It's a very very rare and poisonous type of lily (poisonous to eat drink or inhale not poisonous to touch) I'm very glad you like it!

-flower-chan

* * *

Dear Everyone ,  
When your on missions and fangirls chase you do you kill them or let them go? Also How did you all get into the akatsuki? When did you meet each other and what did you think of each other? 

Luv AkatsukiDreamer

Dear AkatsuliDreamer,

Usually we kill them, we can't trust anybody (me: then why are you doing this? Them: shhhhh) and didn't we already answer how we got in, in ch 5?

Itachi: Most of us met when leader introduced us to each other and what can I say about Kisame he's a shark-man with a big shavey sword.

Kisame: Itachi is emotionless I can't say that much other than that's he's really powerful and doesn't like to talk

Deidara: Sasori at first I thought was a joke he was weird ugly… worm thing! Until I saw his true form when I saw that I was like "wow that's different" but I still believe he has no sense in art. For Tobi well you could tell what I first thought of him… and still do

Sasori: At first I thought deidara was an idiot who had no artistic style what so ever turns out I was right he may be strong but he's no artist (me: but you love him) no (me: yes) No (me: YES) NO!!!!! (me:… yes)

Hidan: I thought and still do think that kakuzu was and is a bastard, atheist, hardass, jackass, mofo, fatass, shithead, heathen, fucker, and the list goes on

Kakuzu: hidan was and is a pain in the ass… that's really all I have to say

Tobi: Tobi at first got the impression deidara-sempai didn't like him but now I think we're ok!

-everyone (leader zetsu and I believe flower-chan do not have partners)

* * *

Dear everyone, 

Leader: May I join Akatsuki? Please? I already have the cloak...

Blue-hair: Can I play with your hair? It looks soft...

Tobi: You're a good boy::hug::

Zetsu: You're creepy and cool at the same time. 'Nuff said.

Kisame: Sharks rule::waves JAWS banner::

Deidara: How long have you been making explosive clay art?

Itachi: Happy be-lated birthday! I know you probably couldn't really care less, but anyway. Um...I always wondered why you had to kill your mom when you killed the whole clan. I understand everyone else, but your mom? She seemed so nice and was innocent as far as I could tell.

Kakuzu: I'll pay you to take your mask off::grin::

Hidan: I wanna convert to Jashinism! I really do! BUT...I'd die if I stabbed myself. Besides, I get kinda squimish around blood. I know, pathetic, right::sigh:: Well, anyway, I have but one question for you: Can I hug you? Please? That would make me so unbelievebly happy. I promise not to do anything 'inappropriate.' ::pleading eyes::

sincerely,  
Darkfire75

Dear Darkfire75,

Leader: I'm afraid not we've lost the rings of the members that are gone so you can't.

Blue-hair: umm sure I guess

Tobi: YAY::hugs back::

Zetsu: sweeeee**eeeeeet**

Kisame: don't they though

Deidara: probably since I was 5 so like 15, 16 years

Itachi: I needed to kill everyone to test my abilities

Kakuzu: ok (you use my magical power that doesn't make sense and give him the money and he just sits there) what? You never told me when to take it off

Hidan: umm sure? (again uses magical powers and hugs him)

-everyone

* * *

Dear every1! 

itachi, umm, I pretty much hate you. so no question (ur hot tho)

kisame, ur so friggen awsome! ok, wat other uses do u use  
shama...shama??(u know wat I mean)for?

Hidan, I LOVE YOU! your one of my favs! is ' you' one of ur  
favorite words or something?

Kakuzu, people that said u were ugly should go screw themselves  
how often does Hidan get on ur nerves?

Tobi I adore you! can I HUG YOU!

Deidara, art rocks!! my friend (and myself:D)like making fun of  
you, saying how much u look like a girl. but we both  
love you! oh, can u really taste things with ur hands?

sasori, that must suck being killed by ur grandma and some pink  
haired monster . Suxs that your dead you kicked

ZETSU! I like you soo much! so tell me do you prefer eating  
women or men or both? wat does human taste like?

leader-sama, uh, no question. But you are really cool!!

Flower-chan how can you live with those men!? I mean..dont you  
get tired of the arguing and the messes the make?

-BlackWolfDestiny

Dear BlackWolfDestiny,

Itachi: simply wonderful to know

Kisame: Cheese I like to use it to you know shave cheese into those small strip type things oh and thanks for the compliments!

Hidan: Yeah I know I rule u all suck compared to me and yes is one of my favourite words

Kakuzu: When is hidan not on my nerves? if you know could you tell me?

Tobi: YES!!!

Deidara: thanks that makes me feel soooo good. And yeah they have toung's so they can taste.

Sasori: yeah I know I know

Zetsu: they both taste wonderful to me male or female they taste delicious better than anything in the world.

Leader-sama: damn straight

Flower-chan: yeah sometimes they really piss me off! But most of them are hot and use nice hair products which makes up for most of it but I refuse to clean up hidan's rituals he can do that himself! Along with the mess deidara's "art" makes, and I REFUSE TO CLEAN UP AFTER ZETSU"S "meals"!

-everyone

* * *

A/N ok I'm reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllly sorry on how short this chapter is and that I only included half of you please forgive me!!! I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow and I have to pack so I'm very very sorry!!!! –akatsuki's-fangirl 


	8. might be last chap

Ask the Akatsuki I'm so sorry it took so long!!!! (ashamed) and R.I.P deidara-kun!!! I've been on vacation so yeah thank you kouta of fire and atlantiandragoness for wishing me a good vacation!!! Cookies for you 2!!!! Anyway here is your questions with answers

* * *

Dear everyone , 

Has a person ever wandered into the base? what do you do? Do you let them stay or kill em later?

-Love AkatsukiDreamer

Dear AkatsukiDreamer,

Well I guess it depends if the person seems strong or smart or just a regular ninja we'll usually kill them. If the person is just an idiot we can safely let them leave… if we feel like it.

-everyone

* * *

Dear akatsuki, 

If Sasuke kills Itatchi would want him to take Itachi's place?

-hoshiko-nin-dreamer

Dear hoshiko-nin-dreamer,

We would consider him I mean if he kills Itachi he must be very powerful and be better than Itachi if he did indeed kill him. The problem though would be if he wanted to join we would accept him if he did definitely. he would be a strong member

-akatsuki

* * *

Dear Kisame, 

What does blood taste like? You eat people don't you? Like all the horny teenagers on shark movies who hang out at night in the middle of the ocean for some odd reason...

-Venny-

Dear Venny,

No usually I don't eat people they don't taste very good I don't how zetsu can stand it. But I do like to jump out at people watching those types of movies at the drive in. It's so fun to watch them freak out.

-Kisame

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

Wahaha! I found it! Little black angry underwear and all! But I gave you Deidara's hair and a funny skirt because you look better that way. Which top do you want? The cool red on that says 'My God Is Better Than Your's' or the corset?

-Venny-

Dear Venny,

Damnit!!!!! Why did you have to find it? And wtf?? Deidara's hair and a SKIRT????!!!! (sigh) gimme the my god's better than yours

-hidan

* * *

Dear Itachi, 

I just LOVE beautiful men. Do you go for the ugly and obsessive type? If so then we're perfect for each other!! If not I'll write fan fiction! XD

-Venny-

Dear Venny,

Hn (translated: wtf?? I'm not interested in anybody ok! NOONE!!!!! And fuck I dunno wanna be in anymore fanfictions!!!! cries)

-Itachi

* * *

Dear Zetsu, 

Um... If you don't mind me asking... Have you ever accidentally eaten pubic hair?

-Venny-

Dear Venny,

O.O **I refuse to answer that.**

**-Ze**tsu

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

I love you. (MEH HE:D)

People say that your hands, for the simple reason that they have mouths on them, could be used for... exotic purposes... What do you have to say about that?

-Venny-

Dear Venny,

YAY I'm loved!!!!

And I say fuck that!!!!… fuck that cause it's not true and to be simply put wrong that's right just plain wrong and people who think I use my hands for that are wrong…er.

-deidara

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

Do you know how awkward it is to say 'Dear' and your name? Its kind of weird but to the real question, are there other people into Jashinism out there and can they get married? My friend, for her school project, has to "marry" a religous precher and she couldn't think of a good religion so I recommended a husband into Jashinism. She loves the idea but can't find any help for her project...care to share anything?

Please and Thank you,

Kouta

Dear Kouta,

It's rather sad and infuriating to say but in your world jashinism isn't a real religion but I will tell you what I know anything less than a kill is a sin you must pray before fights for a kill the rituals are what help you become closer to jashin. And yes we are allowed to marry.

-hidan

* * *

Dear everyone, 

what are you're opinions on some of the fanflashes featuring you guys that are out there?

-atlantiandragoness

Dear atlantiandragoness,

Itachi: hn

Kisame: They're okay though I'm usually singing stupid songs like I'm blue or doing something with the jaws theme sond in the backround.

Deidara: I can deal with some of them but when they make fun of how I look they SUCK!!!!! (me: I think it's funny when they do that to you)

Sasori: I don't really like them cause I'm doing something like singing a pinnochio song or something about me being dead.

Hidan: I'm not usually in fanflashes, which pisses me off, and if I am in them then I guess they're okay.

Kakuzu: If they don't say I don't own these characters then I make them pay the copyright laws so that's ok if they say they do not own it… damn.

Zetsu: they're okay **They piss me off!!!! Don't ask me why they just do.**

Tobi: TOBI LUVS THEM!!!!!!! They make tobi feel special.

Pein (leader): they were okay until I revealed myself now they know who I am and can actually put me in them!!! (cries)

Flower-chan: Same thing as leader!!!

-everyone

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

You all rock but yore my fave. I love art and explosions too! I think youre hot! umm... Did you ever thought of cutting youre hair? Just asking. I would kill myself if you cut your hair!

-Dark-emo-gal

Dear dark-emo-gal,

NEVER!!!!!! I will never cut my hair!!! That's like Itachi getting rid of his… I was gonna say age marks but without those he looks better umm Kakuzu without his stitches or hidan with a shirt!! Or kisame without sharp teeth?

-deidara

* * *

Dear Itachi, 

Yo! um... Is it painful using Mangekyo?

-Dark-emo-gal

Dear dark-emo-gal,

It puts strain on the eyes and casue headaches so I guess.

-Itachi

* * *

Dear Hidan, 

Jashin-sama rocks! (but i am christian so no-can-do) You're cool! Why dont the other Akatsuki members dig you up so you can come back?

-dark-emo-gal

Dear dark-emo-gal,

The same question has occurred to me as well in this hell hole I think it would be smarter to just dig me out but leader's a fucktard so I guess that's one reason.

-Hidan

* * *

Dear Sasori, 

Which is your fave puppets? Dont worry Im behing your back! I dont like Yaoi pairings.

-dark-emo-gal

Dear dark-emo-gal,

Sandaime the old kazekage is probably my favourite then I guess it was Hiruko. And thank you for believing me.

-sasori

* * *

Dear Tobi, 

Hi there good boy! so... who do you like the most among the akatsuki?

-dark-emo-gal

Dear dark-emo-gal,

I like Deidara-sempai!!!! Though I'm not sure if he really likes me but even if he doesn't I still like him!!! Then Tobi likes zetsu-san!!!! He calls me a good boy!!!

-Tobi the good boy

* * *

Dear zetsu, 

Cool! I like you! You have spilt personality like me! But my dark side doesnt show much... Nothing much for you except I brought you some dead Sound nin to feast on since they got on my nerves.

-dark-emo-gal

Dear dark-emo-gal,

YAY FOOD!!!!!! **Thanks (starts eating)**

**-ze**tsu

* * *

Dear kisame, 

Nice! I like youre bluishishness. I like swimming! Do you like swimming?

-dark-emo-ga;

Dear dark-emo-gal,

Thanks!! Not many people like the way I look cause you know I'm not that handsome like Itachi. Anyway hellz yeah I like swimming woot!!! (highfives you)

-kisame

* * *

Dear Kakuzu, 

You should get a safe! I heard someone was using your money to buy stuff. Get a safe!... that's all.

-dark-emo-gal

Dear dark-emo-gal,

… I had a safe but it EXPLODED for some UNKNOWN reason DEIDARA. something always happens when I buy a safe the other ones I buy are sliced at repeatedly until it opened HIDAN. Once it was on fire… black fire ITACHI.

-kakuzu

* * *

Dear leader, 

Hi! I like you! Youre all dark and mysterious! Can I join the Akatsuki? Oh yeah! Im a member of another group with the same name as yours! I have Deidara's position there coz we all love you guys! If you let me join Akatsuki you getting the Jinruuki's is 100 percent! Yeh! love you guys that's all.

-dark-emo-gal

Dear dark-emo-gal

Thanks but not anymore I've come out of the shadows. And could you send me your info? Tons of people ask but they don't have the right skills. And um yay for u loving us…

-leader

Dear orochimaru,

I would but you gave some of my nin to Zetsu so he could EAT them oh and kabu-ch I mean kabuto says hi.

-orochimaru

* * *

Dear everyone, 

What do you think of Hinata?

P.S. Love you alls especially Hinata... I mean Deidara! Dont forget! Im a HInata centric fanatic! Cookies for everyone!

-dark-emo-gal

Dear dark-emo-gal,

Um we don't really know her but I guess we've heard that she's shy. Deidara: YAY!!! Everyone: YAY COOKIES!!!!!!!

-everyone

* * *

Dear Leader-sama,  
I think u rock u but I'm can i plz join the Akatsuki?now  
here is a rant by your WIFE Anko,remember her?  
You mother son of a u bastard i cant believe i married you naruto is our son and you up his life Yondaime what the hell happened to the man i loved oh and by the way u suck?? 

sorry yondaime she is right now oh and can i kill the akatsuki's fan girls plz?

your wifes roomie'  
Temari10101  
ps: i killed ur fan girls yay! evil smile

Dear Temari10101,

Send me your info. And I don't have a wif- (reads her rant) WTF???? I'm NOT YONDAIME READ THE MANGA!!!! Who the hell is anko anyway?? My name is PEIN people!!! PEIN (pronounced pain) jeez I thought this yondaime crap was over… who the fuck is anko??

-pein (leader)

* * *

Dear Tobi, 

Hi! You know everyone loves you! Can I have your mask? Also... Itachi licked you mask and said it tasted like a lolipop. Does it? Tobi is a good boy, right? So you'll tell me?

-chattingbox

Dear chattingbox,

They did but then now I am evil!!!! EVIL!!!!!! Bwahahaha:D!!! and what?? Itachi licked my mask?? While I was wearing it????!!! I must have passed out so I don't really know… (licks his mask) omg… it DOES taste like a lollipop!!

-tobi the badass boy, mofo, secret akatsuki leader, etc…

* * *

Dear Itachi, 

...Why do I keep on spelling Dear as Deidara? Oh and you are NOT hot. You look like a 60 year old. Well technically you are 21, but since you use the Mangekyou Sharingan wouldn't that make you a lot older in your mind? You spend THREE days in someones mind torturing them and that makes me feel like screaming watching those scenes. Wouldn't that build up eventually? OMF-reakin-G-osh. YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY BE THE SAME AGE AS OROCHIMARU!! ... No not really but point taken right?

-chattingbox

Dear chattingbox,

You make a point but that happens in your mind not in reality where my physical body is. My physical body is not effected. I have no idea why you keep typing dear as Deidara. And yeah I don't care what you think of me. (me: cause he's a mean mofo)

-Itachi

* * *

Dear Deidara, 

-hahahaHAhahaHAHAHAHACKHA! xD- Sorry, but in this manga you pretty much got screwed. Think about it. You had flashbacks. -Dramatic Death Sign #1- Then you used your VERY best technique. -Dramatic Death Sign #2- Then Sasuke SURVIVED. Just the fact that he was the main reason another main character is going after him (Sakura, Naruto) means that you are so dead. -Death Sign #3-. I really liked you while you were here. Also... Ino( the girl who supposedly stole your hairstyle) existed before you so HA! You were the one who stole her hairstyle!

-chattingbox

Dear chattingbox,

Yeah I'm dead I know, but at least I'm back with my danna! (me: I luv Deidara TTTT) Plus I went out it my own style so yeah I kick ass because technically it wasn't Sasuke who killed me

And about ino she might have appeared before me but I am older than her!! HA! I am older than her so I think she copied me!

-deidara

* * *

Dear Kisame, 

Do you realise that fans of Naruto watch you? I mean like... watch-your-every moves-in-a-stalkerish kinda way. Cause without Naruto you wouldn't exist. Oh yeah and I would also like to say...-ROFL- You realise that you practically asked Itachi to shave Naruto's legs when Naruto started squirming in that one episode? You gotta watch what you say Kisame or else your reputation's gonna drop to Tobi's level in Akatsuki. (No offense, Tobi, but you really gotta help your sempai in the next chapter.

-chattingbox

Dear chattingbox,

People are watching me?? What do they expect me to do a trick? I'm not THAT entertaining… am I? Yeah I realize that must've sounded really stupid… aw well I screw watching leaders told me to watch what I say about other members but do I? Nope because I like to talk about whatever I feel like WOOHOO!!!!

-kisame

* * *

Dear Hidan,  
I just want to thank you for being kick . Also if you could have anything in the world right now what would you want? oh and please tell me you're not madly in love with Kakuzu. 

-ContraMundi-Forever

Dear ContraMundi-forever,

What can I say it comes naturally. If I could have anything it would be death and if it had to be an object a shovel… and if it had nothing to do with getting myself out of this whole then I guess a church completely dedicated to jashin.

-hidan

* * *

Dear Four of the Best; 

Hidan no Danna, you are awesome and probably the best Akatsuki member. Ever! And possibly the most attractive, though you may be rivaled by Kakuzu-sama... prepares to hide behind Hidan from an angry Itachi Anyway, how many people, on average, do you sacrifice to Jashin-sama?

Kakuzu-sama, I agree wholeheartedly with BlackWolfDestiny! Whoever calls you ugly is blind and stupid, for without the head cover and mask you are very handsome. . Moving on, since you can sew, do you make repairs in the cloaks for everyone? For the right amount of money of course.

Deidara-kun, I'm going straight to your question. Do you love Sasori-kun? We all know you two are perfect for each other! (Or at least better than Sakura and Sasori-kun.) Although Sasori-kun's dead... We'll fix that, really we will..

Sasori-kun, puppets scare me, but you and Kankuro-kun are some of my favorite characters. I'm not going to ask what it's like to be dead but it is something very close; What was it like to die?

gives all the addressed people hugs Late(r)!  
HidanOwnsYouAll

P.S. huggles Tobi You are just too kawaii to resist hugging!

Dear HidanOwnsYouAll (hidan: I do don't I?)

Hidan: I Know I am! And Kakuzu oh come on I'm hotter than him! on average? Like per day? Per day I guess 2, 3 maybe 4 On bad days 1

Kakuzu: You really think so? Sweet. Yeah I usually make the repairs which they need really often for some reason… sometimes though I'm "too expensive" so they go somewhere else… jerks.

Deidara: (blushes) Um w-well I wouldn't go as far as you know love but yeah I guess I like him maybe I mean I like him I just don't know about you know love cause ypu know that's really serious… plus I don't know if he likes me

Sasori: puppets? Scary? Naaaah… to die I think it's different for everybody but for me it didn't really feel like anything it was the real world my memories… seeing my parents joining the akatsuki all of it just zoomed by and BOOM I was dead it will be the strangest thing it was the strangest thing the tunnel with the white light was there too I was surprised that I saw that. Well that's all I can really describe.

-hidan, Kakuzu, Deidara, Sasori (Tobi: Yay hugs!!! (huggles you back)

Dear Deidara and Sasori,

at what age did you start appreciating art?

-nicole

Dear Nicole,

Sasori: I started to appreciate art when I was very young. I have always seen that art is supposed to last forever and always appreciated it.

Deidara: When I started appreciating it… maybe around 12? It was when I could fisrt use my art for it's true purpose one of the best moments of my life.

-Sasori and Deidara

* * *

Dear Akatsuki, 

Itachi: Are you a pedophile? -awkward stare-

Zetsu: STOP EATTING PEOPLE! AND STOP WITH THE VORE BEFORE I START MAKING A SALAD OUT OF YOU!

Hidan: You. Suck. So. Much. Even more then Sasuke. And stop worshipping your dumb cult.

Kakuzu: I went into your room and stole a thousand dollars. -flips the bird- And I'm not returning it! Tentacle loving freak.

Deidara: -glares- Sore loser. Dumb Akatsuki uke.

Well I guess that's its. OH!

akatsuki's-fangirl: Its great to see people torment the Akatsuki (in a way) and is a fan at the same time. Just like me.

BYE BYE WOOF!

This letter will now self-destruct.

BOOM!

-mahou inu alex

Dear mahou inu alex,

Itachi: –stares at you- …no

Zestu: …I'm afraid I can't do that an-** damn right I won't stop!!! I'll eat people I want to!! Oh and you can try bitch!!!! **

Hidan: Fuck you. Fuck you seriously you suck.

Kakuzu: Fuck you –flips the bird back- I stole it back character bashing jerk.

Deidara: srew you

Me (akatsuki's fangirl): yep we kick ass… oh shit!!! (Throws letter)

-akatsuki+me

* * *

Dear Deidara, (I think) 

in my anime/manga group we hav names and i hav urs...im so glad!  
i totally sympathize with the people confuzing genders it gets so annoying!  
hey deidara when ur hands lick things do u taste them?  
if so them you must have a really good controlled gag reflex...

-HuMaN-EaTiNg-PaNdA -HEP  
Previously WeIrD-fRoG

Dear HuMaN-EaTiNg-PaNdA-HEP,

Damn right it's annoying!! I can't stand it!!! And yeah they can taste them but their taste buds are very weak so I barely taste anything course sometimes things can have a really strong taste and usually that means it's really bad so yeah I'll throw up it sux!

-deidara

* * *

Hey guys i think this might be my last one cause of how long i make you wait ; so yeah maybe last chap 


	9. IDEA PLZ READ

…sorry guys this chap isn't for answering questions I was wondering what do think If I start a new thing TRUTH OR DARE AKATSUKI!!!! This time including orochimaru.

Well tell me what you think about this idea and if enough people say yes then w00t I will start truth or dare akatsuki! so yeah that all sorry if your answers weren't answered!!!!

-------ok edit i did it you can either chack meh profile or just search akatsuki truth or dare i guess


End file.
